Not Fooled By Randomness

A bit too "Fast"

2011-09-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Narendra Modi is in the news again for a series of avoidable reasons. Firstly a Supreme Court judgement which has no real legal implication and is perhaps more procedural. Modi's subsequent gesture of proceeding on a fast is uncharacteristic and incongruous with his image of a leader who puts outcome over symbolism.

But why are the Gujarat riots of 2002 so politically significant a decade from occurrence? From the looks of it, it is the only available stick to beat Modi with. It also has to do with Modi's continued relevance and electoral success. I would argue that a sole electoral loss would ensure oblivion for Godhra. Ironic but eminently possible. The BJP has a cliched retort by referring to 1984. This pitch was strangely subdued in the Narasimha Rao era. The return of the Gandhi family ensured this weapon, however rusty, was brought back into the armoury.

In the interest of political maturity though, it is important to bury 2002 and move on to more relevant issues of governance. Several leaders are guilty of the acts of omission that Modi is accused of. Each of them have created a political divide sharp enough to last a few generations. Lets leave 1984 out since its been done to death. V P Singh gave a whole new dimension to caste based politics. His contribution to societal degeneration went way beyond the Mandal agitation that is the most vivid memory of those times. It spawned a whole new regressive thought process and set the meritocracy clock back by a few decades. Narasimha Rao, however progressive, played the religion card at Ayodhya to stoke a dormant volcano. While the move backfired in the medium term, it created a flank that was existent but hitherto of little value. A whole bunch of saffron clad touts milked it for decades.

If we were to shift to the economic arena one has examples galore of unacceptable tolerance of malignant political acts. Singrur is a classic case in point of a state government pretending to be hapless when caught in a bind on vote bank versus development. This when the state is on the brink of ruin. At least 3 states are witnessing a steady, irreversible decline in their industrial fortunes owing to sheer lack of political will to take on the Maoist menace. Not only do we witness indifference to loss of lives, there is little concern at the lawless existence of a parallel government thriving through extortion.

Comparable levels of guilt across the political spectrum do not absolve Modi in case he is indeed culpable. However, it may be prudent to reconcile to a significant "downgrade" amongst the polity and plump for the "least worst". While Gujarat was always progressive, it has galloped in the last decade leaving most other developed states far behind. The government is considered decisive and "right" thinking. It is only in this term that one hears murmurs of corruption and it could well be a case of misplaced propaganda. It may not hurt to have a leader of this stature in the national arena (lack of acceptance amongst the Reality TV watching couch potatoes notwithstanding).

In my view though, Modi is jumping the gun by showing his hand a little too soon. A few more years of operating below the radar may have ensured smoother sailing in the longer run. His current gameplan of acquiring statesman status through "sadbhavna" will ensure intra-party knives get sharpened before time. He needs a year or so of judicial calm before attempting to shed the hawk image that he wears comfortably (to a point of being scary).

This isn't about Cricket

2011-07-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

In a few hours from now, the verdict on presidency of the Mumbai Cricket Association shall be pronounced. A prominent politician is pitted against a cricketing legend. Over the last several months there has been much clamour for sportspersons to run sports bodies. This is misplaced and owes itself to the standard loathing for all things "sarkari" as opposed to any serious logic.

Indian cricket owes its current importance in the ICC to the likes of Jagmohan Dalmiya , an astute administrator but certainly not the world's best known cricketer. His absence of a cricketing track record was no impediment to his accomplishment as a sports administrator. And each time one is tempted to delve into corruption around sale of TV rights, IPL teams, CWG et al, think Match Fixing, Ball Tampering or even "the Hand of God". In an ideal world sportsmen are meant to uphold the values of fairplay and integrity. But bring in the dimension of commerce and they are often no different from politicians, bureaucrats or any other tribe the world loves to hate.

Internationally there are enough and more examples of successful sports federations like FIFA and International Olympic Association that are run by administrators with little or no sporting achievement. Some of these associations have often been the hegemony of a powerful personality for decades but rarely has the cause suffered. Wimbledon is organised with remarkable efficiency each year without Bjorn Borg or Pete Sampras being at the helm. There is no reason why Indian sport should be any different.

This applies to dimensions of sport apart from administration. Coaching and Commentary come immediately to mind. While we have some successful sportsmen excelling at both, there are enough and more examples to the contrary. For every Ravi Shastri and Geoffrey Boycott, we have a Harsha Bhogle or Henry Blofeld. These specialist commentrators have played cricket at some level but they shall seldom be referred to as "former cricketers".

Lastly, where shall Mohammed Azharuddin fit? Cricketer, Politician, Match-fixer or All of the above" ???

Bye Bye Ramdev?

2011-06-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

While the jury is out on the political wisdom behind the abrupt and "forcible" end to Baba Ramdev's Ramlila Maidan farce, the Government deserves to be commended for acting courageously for once.

Firstly, the egg on the PM's face with Anna Hazare's well-timed populist maneuver is still fresh in public memory. To bend again would plumet the Prime Minister's Office to irrversible indignity. Hence, after the initial attempts at conciliation firm measures were called for.

A larger threat is to the roots of our democratic foundation. There is a defined process to represent the voice of the people. If anyone with a fan following is permitted to drive a policy or two through ransom, it shall prove debilitating. The odd yoga teacher, film star or even cricketer ought to restrict themselves to their chosen line of work. Alternatively, they ought to formally plunge into the political process. Currently, the Baba Ramdevs of the world are leveraging their cult following whilst escaping the cynicism that is reserved for those who officially don Khadi.

The question that shall be asked (albeit hypothetically) is the government's possible response to a similar call by a minority leader. Frankly, that shall be the true test of the PM's intent. The current act could either be the first signs of a firm fist. Alternatively, it could merely be an attempt to scuttle a possible saffron resurgence. Despite my not-so-complimentary views about the current ministry, it seems largely like the former to me. In any case, it doesnt seem like this show is over yet.

Unjudicious Encroachment

2011-03-05T23:07:00.000-08:00

The Supreme Court striking down the CVC appointment is being welcomed in several quarters. In my view, this could set a dangerous precedent even though the spirit of the decision may be somewhat in place (given the CVC digging his heels in firmly). While the Court has been careful to explain that it is dealing with just the "legality of an appointment" which lies outside its purview, the subsequent explanation around "illegality" is shallow. The court seems to be hiding behing clever wordplay while not-so-subtly encroaching into executive domain.

The Courts have decided to take a view on an appointment which is always likely to have an element of subjectivity. In appointments to the Supreme Court itself, there are cases of Judges being elevated despite dissent within the collegium. There are well publicised cases of elevation of Judges after dissenting collegium members retired. In another, an overlooked Judge wrote to the President and was subsequently elevated ostensibly in the interests of diversity. Not to say these appointments were incorrect. The moot point is the subjective element that is bound to creep into most of these appointments. Hence the assumption of superior "judgemental" (pun unintended) ability seems inappropriate.

Independently, there are strong noises about at least one (if not two) retired members of the higher judiciary. One of them holds an equally important constitutional post. He too has taken stonewalling to a new high in the wake of official confirmation of ill-gotten wealth by kin. A HC Judge against whom impeachment proceedings have been initiated is taking refuge in farcical procedural gaps in the proceedings. The Supreme Court is expected to be way more active in ensuring their own brethren are not allowed the luxury of impunity whilst they seek to be conscience-keepers of all arms of the government.

Encroachment into Executive domain by the Judiciary has been prevalent for a while now. Parts of it have been welcome in the wake of ineffective executive intervention. Currently the Judiciary is threatening to cross the line once to often. That it is seen to be doing so without applying the same principles to itself will ultimately lead to complete dilution of credibility.

The Lankan Example

2011-02-13T06:31:00.000-08:00

In the last few months, I have seen a couple of people plan their honeymoon in Sri Lanka. Colombo is fast emerging as a serious threat to Bangkok as the preferred overseas destination for longish weekend breaks by the mildly well heeled. An expat ex-colleague who was supposedly an Indophile decided to purchase real-estate in an island off Colombo before he left the sub-continent.

It is remarkable how quickly the Sri Lankans have erased memories of a civil war that lasted decades and worked to develop their country as the tourist hub it used to be. The resurrection efforts are all-encompassing. From advertising to infrastructure development to ensuring service levels lead to favourable word-of-mouth publicity.

In contrast, we have allowed the Kashmir problem to degenerate almost to a point of no-return. A trip to the state a couple of years ago left us awestruck at the splendour. But the pitiable condition of the local populace who were dependent on tourism led income was depressing. One could get around paying rockbottom prices for almost everything given non-existent demand for services.

Sri Lanka should serve as an inspiration. The ethnic strife and related terrorism had the same proportions as Kashmir (if not larger). All the elements, from cross-border funding to local support to votebank compulsions existed there too. It took political will (largely from one individual) to take a solution to its logical end. Kashmir may be entangled in more historical cross-hairs. However, that has been an excuse for lethargy for way too long. In any case the relative importance of Kashmir as a political issue is high only across the border. It is time for the metaphorical gloves to be off for some time so that the state is restored to complete normalcy. For me, there lies a vested interest in wanting to return to Srinagar as often as is financially prudent.

Sketchy Portrait

2011-01-29T03:03:00.000-08:00

I just concluded reading Patrick French's "India: A Portrait". I was drawn to the book by reviews in prestigious publications (and at least one famed prior work by the author albeit unread by Yours Truly). While none of them were particularly appreciative, my assumption was only serious substance could merit such prolific attention.

To give the author his due, this book serves as a rather informative cheat-sheet for those with an interest in post-independence India but bereft of the patience to read more detailed writings. The writer manages to capture and narrate several interesting nuggets on important political figures over the last few decades. These are peppered with candid opinions that are bound to foster the desired controversy should the book ever face a media debate. Besides, there are wide ranging facets of Indian society that are reflected upon, often forcing introspection into our easy tolerance of primitive and irrational practices. Patrick French manages to communicate these successfully without ever conveying prejudice that many of us would associate with a"white" author.

The book's principal failing lies in the absence of a common thread through chapters or any central message(s). It comes across as a series of disjointed essays put together by travel for interviews and sessions at the India International Centre Bar. Further, while narrating incidents of topical interest, the author has failed to keep his personal bias aside. A classic example is the description of the Arushi murder and subsequent events. It is apparent that the author is well-acquainted with the Talwars (or their lawyer) and is attempting a spirited defence which is far from objective.

The former is disappointing because there was a clear opportunity for an important message. There are sketchy but informative biographies of several important contemporary Indians like Sunil Mittal, L K Advani and even Manmohan Singh. While media reviews have focussed on the book's research on dynastic representation in Indian Parliament, these sketches actually communicate a very important facet of our country that is deprived of its due. While America is universally seen to be a "land of opportunity" the same holds true for India in most sections of civil society. If we were to keep a few high-profile dynasties out of the ambit, every dimension of accomplishment has several self-made, first generation achievers ruling the roost. The author has profiled many such people without communicating this important message powerfully.

As an aside, this book has effectively shelved an intended blog post on The Doon School. I had planned to write about this prestigious boarding school that breeds several people with enviable social skills and little else. Their achievement seemed rather limited outside the comfort zone of established family hegemony. I now stand enlightened with information that the prodigious London-based sculptor Anish Kapoor went to Doon. Ditto for the "famed" Maoist Kobad Ghandy. While I may not be a fan of his ideology, he has excelled in his chosen line of work (without any known ancestral tail-winds).

The Lobby for Lobbying

2010-12-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

The timing of “Radiagate” couldn’t have been more strategically inopportune. Far from Lobbying providing a shot in the arm to economic development, we shall now move a dozen steps away from legitimizing lobbying. There are various reasons why we need streamlined and organized lobbying today.

For starters, there is a not-so-subtle difference between a “lobbyist” and a “fixer”. Lobbyists are meant to leverage their knowledge of policy, international best practices and procedural loopholes to influence the moving parts that determine regulation. While I have not listened to all the available “Radiagate” tapes, some of them do seem to reveal an objective, no-nonsense approach with a comprehensive understanding of all arms of the power establishment. There was reasoning behind most of her persuasion attempts as opposed to sycophancy. In case she has gone on to merely grease palms for achieving her end-objectives, she has in effect gone on to nullify what she brought to the table. There is after all no dearth of “agents” who could comfortably lug currency filled suitcases to the relevant LBZ addresses. There are few though who can straddle between the likes of an urbane Vir Sanghvi and a "son-of-the-soil" A Raja with equal ease. (not to mention comfortable parleys with Ratan Tata himself). This skill, coupled with subject matter expertise on chosen industries is what ought to have singularly set her apart. From the looks of it, she chose to widen her “proposition” by possibly breaking the law in addition to influencing it. That is disappointing because it seems needless.

The need for organized lobbying gathers further import if one examines our governance structure. At one level we have elected politicians who are the public face of policy making. The nuts and bolts though are managed by bureaucrats who are typically drawn in from the civil services. The nature of this service imparts superior administrative skills, diverse assignments and an unmatched understanding of the ground realities confronting governance. What it fails to provide though is deep understanding of the more complex and technical issues around some of the new economy industries. Managing these invariably calls for some level of specialization given their very nature and relative nascency on the evolution charts. The need for an expert to influence policy therefore becomes more pronounced.

Governments have historically appointed “consultants” for this purpose. Some empanel big names who churn out lengthy reports which I suspect are seldom read. Others appoint their former bosses as consultants and generate income for them. This becomes a self-serving practice as subsequent incumbents are also meant to follow suit and the consequence is rather malignant. Lobbyists would perhaps engage with similar consultants but distil the relevant stuff and convert it into something more actionable for both, their principal and the policy maker.

Our socialist conscience seems fairly shocked at senior journalists proposing scripted interviews. It is par for the course in developed economies. George Bush launched his autobiography recently and followed it up with a series of rather obviously scripted interviews with “hard nosed” TV journalists. In fact there were TV debates on whether some of the scripting had gone a bit too far since the wit on display seemed too misplaced to be spontaneous. Interviews are an integral part of a PR exercise and TV Channels are as focused on bottomline as public service. To expect journalists to remain eternal Holy Cows was a wee bit optimistic. Sooner than later, treachery around the hitherto sacrosanct omerta was inevitable.

Make no mistake I am not even remotely suggesting that lobbyists of the Niira Radia variety are misunderstood angels. The moot point is the emergent need for part of her skill-sets making an important contribution to the changing nature of the economy. Sadly, a public revelation of her seemingly devious attempts at maneuvers in territory that ought to have been out of her designated domain shall be a setback for “legitimate” lobbyists (if any) for a long time.

Supreme Circus

2010-09-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

The Supreme Court of India's decision to defer the Babri Masjid verdict by the Allahabad High Court is dangerously mindless. While I am relatively ignorant of the legal technicalities, here is why I believe this could have far-reaching and unhealthy consequences:

- While the Judiciary is grappling with debates around executive interference and questions around integrity of judges of superior courts, such a confused signal from the highest court in the country is what we needed least. Part of a Court's primary function is to resolve disputes between individuals and/or groups. To throw the ball back in their court (pun unintended) for a solution questions the very need for a judicial system to exist. That this should revolve around a High Court judgement makes it even more baffling given the wide-ranging powers conferred to High Courts by Article 226 of the Constitution.

- The logic behind the postponement seems even more preposterous. Judicial discipline is meant to ensure judgements are made in keeping with the law of the land with scant (or rather, NIL) regard for social or political ramifications. Implementing verdicts and reigning in their consequences are part of the Executive and Legislative purview. If courts were to now factor in law & order issues and similar fallouts, it will lead to significant weakening of judicial resolve. If this were to become the order of the day, it may be impossible to dismiss unlawfully formed governments, convict those accused of communally sensitive crimes and the like.

- Lastly, loose remarks around convoluted circumvention of potential show-stoppers like impending retirement of a sitting judge does not befit courtrooms in The Supreme Court. Surprisingly, the legal fraternity does not seem to be protesting against this irrational decision to admit a ludicrous petition with the kind of decibel levels one had expected.

Coffee Anyone?

2010-09-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

As a self-styled bloke, I am a natural fan of "The International Rules of Blokedom" (Google it for details). One of the 2 additions that I have sought to make to this list of interesting rules is- "A Bloke shall not be seen in a coffee bar post sundown". (there is another on bacardi-drinking men but more on that later). Frankly, for a long time I never saw reason to visit say Barista pre sundown either. Domestic pressures around numerous flanks have prompted a climbdown in stance albeit with the Blokedom Rule remaining intact. One such visit was to "Gloria Jeans Coffee" in the neighbourhood over the weekend.

As we neared the cafe (with its Devnagiri signage if you please), we encountered a couple purposefully strolling in armed with a book each in hand. I was a trifle perplexed at the need to catch up on reading in a public place over a weekend but there was a first in store after all. It was my first glimpse of a hard-bound P G Wodehouse. At the risk of sounding tacky, I guess "coffee-table books" have given way to "coffee shop editions". Having placed our order, we seated ourselves in the outdoor section of the cafe since all the seats inside were taken by similar couples deeply engrossed in "reading".

I noticed a long-haired, bearded gent (mysteriously, 70% of all men in coffee shops seem to wear beards) gesticulating wildly with his arms. Initially, I thought he was trying to indicate an open door or a wobbly tyre to a motorist opposite. To my amazement, he was actually practicing (or maybe "composing") a music score! It seemed as if noisy automobiles whizzing past him whilst honking away to glory, did wonders for his concentration. Or perhaps, the positive creative energy that a cafe's ambience generates is completely lost on me.

More was in store. In walked a bald gent sporting a mane inspired directly by Professor Calculus. Just as I was reconciling to his err, "unusual" appearance, I noticed he was not fully bald after all. At the rear of his head, there lay a carefully cropped, square tuft of hair ostensibly as his trademark style statement!

I could go on and on about the number of bizarre sights and sounds that I encountered in a mere 45 minutes. But lets come to the point. Firstly, my blokedom rule stands reinforced with the rider around sundown too being deleted. Second, coffee bars join the long list of impressive marketing stories that have succeeded in creating an intellectual imagery around themselves. Gone are the college kids lounging around over numerous cappucinos for the sake of being in air-conditioned environs. Weird souls with a crying need to publicize their intellectual pretensions seem to have taken over, at least part of the space.

A caveat- I retain rights to think of myself as a bloke despite future trips to coffee bars. A little hypocrisy is well worth it for the sake of domestic bliss.

90-day itch

2010-08-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

We complete 90-days in our Mumbai apartment today. While we are still "breaking-in" and before one becomes a full-fledged turncoat, I cant help reminisce about some of the stuff we really miss about Delhi.

Late night drives have been the first casualty. First attempt was the Mount Mary- Bandstand-Carter Road circuit. I lost count but I think we had a near-miss with 4 pavement dwellers and about half a dozen night birds who in their craving for ice-cream, kulfi and the like seemed to mindlessly cross roads with little or no regard for oncoming traffic. The following week we embarked on the "real deal" i.e. Haji-Ali-Marine Drive etc. 4th gear was a luxury as one had to indulge in peak hour concentration since traffic was near bumper to bumper (at 1 a.m.if you please). Give me the Safdarjang Road-Krishna Menon Marg-Akbar Road-Rajpath combination any day. The luxury of a leisurely drive amidst the pretty boulevards with colonial bungalows lining the wide roads (and scores of stately monuments thrown in) is unmatched.

The search for good quality, non 5-star Indian Food has proved endless and horribly futile. It was best summed up by the experience of a friend who asked for Indian options in South Mumbai and ended up in the same restaurant for the 5th sraight time since it was the only option given to him by everyone he checked with each time! I am also struggling with the logic of landing up in fine-dining places in shorts but more on that another day. There has been a positive fallout on the health front though. Like a true East Indian, sunday lunches were always meant to be rice and mutton curry. I now seldom consume red-meat given the bony, lifeless meat on sale in most shops here. Again we did the round of recommended shops all across town before deciding that mutton consumption shall be restricted to Delhi trips (where one is spoilt with succulent meat with a wide option of cuts). Curiously, shops in Mumbai find fame not basis quality of goods/service/ambience but on the parameter of most famous customer. So one is typically directed to "Katrina Kaif's florist" or " Saif Ali Khan's mechanic".

A reluctant mall-goer like Yours Truly was successfully persuaded to drive to one of the fancier malls in town a few weeks ago. My spirited dash to the mall was literally stopped in its tracks with a delayed realisation that I had actually missed a mile-long queue of cars waiting to enter! I was certain my "DL" number plate prompted a slew of curses centring around the Capital as I insisted on nonchalantly jumping the queue. But the saga of queues had only just begun and its unlikely I am returning in a hurry. A subsequent weekend trip to Delhi made the Vasant Kunj malls (that I once scorned) feel like the ultimate in luxury.

There are scores of similarities too. If you thought only delhi-ites could call "Kamla Nagar" as "K-Nags", Mumbaikars are not be left behind. Hence, "South Bombay" is "So-Bo", in fact to the point of being cliched now. And while I reside in an apartment complex that is far from being upscale, I own the smallest car in the parking lot. So much for dilli-wallas being the "big-car showoffs".

Waste of time in Mumbai

2010-08-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

The Mafia they say was born in a Port. Having grown up in one, I therefore harbour an irrationally unhealthy keenness in the underworld. (my bookshelf provides damning evidence). My subject-matter interest coupled with a recent vow to watch more than my standard average of 4 movies a year had me book tickets for "Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai". My first mistake was to dismiss the discouraging newspaper review as the handiwork of an ill-equipped journalist. I went on to ignore a bad omen. It was only the 23rd auto-rickshaw we hailed that reluctantly agreed to ferry us to the cinema. (I am now enlightened with the information that auto-drivers need significant financial incentives to make the journey from Bandra West to Bandra East).

At the end of a damp first half which just about managed to give a loose sketch of the principal characters, I braced for the real drama to commence. An hour later, a few exciting events occurred which convinced me the turning point was (for lack of a better phrase) round the corner. To my amazement, the lights came on and the movie had ended! I sprang in my seat, shocked at the complete absence of a meaningful plot whatsoever.

Word-of-mouth had over-ridden the newspaper review. I was assured of a "riveting" performance by Ajay Devgan (sorry "Devgn"). He might have well been mouthing those corny one-liners into a mirror given the absolute lack of context. It was amusing to see an Emran Hashmi copy Devgn's theatrical demeanour and then a confused Randeep Hooda alternately ape both of them. The movie is meant to have been set in the 70s with the only visible throwback to that decade being the cliched automobiles. Even the whisky being poured seemed to be "Grants" as opposed to Vat 69, the quintessential favourite of that generation, at least in the movies.

I have to conclude by conceding that the seats in Cinemax- Bandra (EAST I hasten to reiterate) are by far the most comfortable and luxurious that I have ever occupied in my limited exposure to Cinemas across the country. I just wish it was located in Bhubaneswar, in which case I would have had access to far more interesting beverages than Coke to cope with this eminently forgettable movie. As regards those whose "word of mouth" I relied on to brave the irritating rains to make the rare journey to a Cinema, guess I now know who my real friends are.

The True American Spirit

2010-08-03T23:50:00.000-07:00

Attached link leads to an article I wrote recently on Bourbon. Was published in the last issue of India Today Spice.

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/site/Story/106167/the-true-american-spirit.html?page=0

Cheers

In-"Fali"-ble

2010-07-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

I just concluded reading "Before Memory Fades", the autobiography of eminent lawyer Fali Nariman. It is certainly recommended reading not just for people involved or interested in the legal system but anyone keen on a glimpse of the country's political history post independence through the lens of a jurist. For someone relatively ignorant of nuances of law like yours truly, this book serves as a useful starting point and has been remarkably enlightening.

What is striking though is that despite the author being someone as erudite and acclaimedly articulate as Nariman, the writing is in refreshingly comprehensible English (the odd usage of words like "ratiocination" notwithstanding). I guess there lies the test of a good writer when it comes to telling a story or conveying a powerful message. Too often many of us succumb to the temptation of hiding behind vocabulary to conceal a weak (or absent) point of view. I learnt it the hard way a few weeks ago when an article I was attempting to write for a newsmagazine was summarily dismissed by the editor since it just did not "talk to the reader".

There is an irritating flip side too. For a man known for his sharp legal wizardry but certainly not for modesty, Nariman resorts to needless self-deprecation. His inverse "humility" in the context of several other legal luminaries almost insults the intelligence of the reader. Also, while he has mildly criticized a few judges, he has ensured most of them are too far gone in history to be relevant any longer. A little more contemporary candour would have been welcome.

While reiterating my reccomendation for this important autobiography, I cant help commenting that Mr Nariman could have chosen a slightly more ingenious title (there are at least half a dozen similar works with an identical title).

Mumbai Ahoy

2010-05-29T03:54:00.000-07:00

I now have a legitimate Mumbai pin code as my address proof. Given how attached I am to the country's capital, most of my friends and family had greeted my announcement of relocation with much scepticism and disbelief. My first 2 weeks have been better than expected. One does not live in a place as cramped as one had braced for and there is enough greenery around one's nest to stay continously reminded of Delhi. "Reverse traffic" ensures a smooth ride to work and a tolerable ride back. However, the much touted "everyday professionalism" in Mumbai is pure fiction. Sample all that one has been subjected to in the first 2 weeks:

- The Meru cab failed to land up TWICE! The missus was instructed to ask for directions herself since it was she who was keen to reach the annointed destination. On another instance she was persuaded by a cab driver to cover the remaining leg of her journey in an auto-rickshaw since it was presumably beneath his dignity to be caught in traffic in the suburbs (or " 'burbs " as some pretentitious folks refer to it).

- Our maid never lands up on time. On day-1 she landed up an hour later than scheduled. Its now down to 15-20 minutes with a follow- up phone call every alternate day. Ditto for the painter, electrician, appliances delivery folks etc. (there is our efficent carpenter who is remarkably punctual but any praise directed at him draws sniggers around parochialism since he hails from a place called Behrampur in Orissa)

- An electrician tried to con me into paying installation charges (when I had a deal for free installation) and promptly retreated when I showed him the bill. The trophy though goes out to the guy from the Internet Service Provider who summoned me back home (when he had landed up 45 minutes before schedule) since it was his birthday and he was getting delayed! I obliged only to be kept waiting since he was busy receiving birthday wish calls from his numerous girlfriends. My patience ran out in 10 minutes and I showed him the door.

- Auto-rickshaw & cab drivers alike jump traffic signals with elan. I do not mention BEST buses because they do not even acknowledge the existence of signals so they are perhaps unaware they are jumping them.

None of this would shock any of us in any part of the country. And that's my point. When it comes to efficiency or work ethic, Mumbai is no different from any other part of the country. It could be periodic degeneration over time though scores of locals insist we are just having a run of poor luck and things are indeed much better. If that be the case, be prepared for a volte-face blog post sometime soon.

One stark change from the past is that most taxi drivers invariably claim to be from Maharashtra. More power to MNS!

Tweeter-less on Raisina Hill

2010-01-16T01:01:00.000-08:00

Having read most of Shashi Tharoor's works (and numerous newspaper columns), I have always been impressed by the breadth of his interests, deep research and ability to communicate in a tone that was refreshingly unusual. (I confess my ignorance of his achievements in the United Nations).My admiration for him grew several notches when he chose to enter Parliament by slugging it out in the rough and tumble of electoral politics as opposed to the more conventional back-door routes employed by the privileged lot. I have been disappointed by him twice:

Let me get over and done with the less relevant one first. In one of his books- "Bookless in Baghdad", Tharoor has chosen to write a retort to a sharply critical review by Shobha De of one of his earlier publications, "Show Business". While I can't help concede that Show Business is an eminently forgettable tome, a writer of Tharoor's stature need not have stooped to level with a saucy, publicity-seeking mass manufacturer of lurid pulp fiction.

His recent Twitter posts with a stance against numerous government actions have left me disappointed. To voice private disagreements in a broader forum while one holds public office is distasteful and highly unbecoming of someone with Tharoor's perceived calibre. To walk and execute the house view is a basic expectation from anyone entrusted with any form of responsibility, not to mention a position of national (and perhaps international) import. Why would an acclaimed prodigy with numerous & wide ranging accomplishments under his belt seemingly lose the plot ?

Part of the answer probably lies in Tharoor's intellectual arrogance relative to the polity (for evidence of this trait one must read his scathing criticism of R K Narayan's "lack of command" over the Queen's language). He seems to have fallen prey to the mistaken belief that academic pedigree coupled with professional success equals superior intelligence. Mass leaders (who have exceptional compartments of cerebral excellence in their own right) typically lull the brown sahibs into this false sense of complacency.

Tharoor also seems to be gambling with periodic acts of professional indiscretion with an eye towards creating a crusader image for himself with the impressionable middle class. The calibrated nature of his "dissent" coupled with timely retreats when faced with rebuke from the sanctum sanctorum reeks of clinical brinkmanship. If Tharoor indeed believes he can pull this off to create a larger than life persona for himself in the Rahul Gandhi era, I would tend to conclude that megalomania has scalped yet another bright soul.

The Audacity of Eloquence

2009-12-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama suddenly looks like a magician out of tricks what with good press having deserted him completely. Every section of the fourth estate seems to be handing him a mauling for perceived incompetence. From his cowboy handling of Afghanistan to his inept grappling with the sensitive issue of Islam or even his comical dash to bid for the Olympics, the media has abandoned its self created darling. What plumped for Obama is his charisma. Ironically, what is doing him in is just that. The “eloquence over experience” jab, once dismissed as a losers’ rant is now fast gaining acceptance amongst a wide cross section of opinion makers. Obama is not helping matters by indulging in a series of bloomers. He seems to alternate his leanings towards India or China depending on the side of the bed he rises from. The magic wand for the economy is yet to kick in. The cynical silence that greeted the announcement of his Nobel Prize threatened the credibility of the award itself. The first year of Presidency, one that leaves indelible and material impressions has seen Obama at sea more often than not.

Strangely, Obama was elected at a time when the economy was in a mess and the global business press (and corporate citizenry) making a cry for top bosses who were shorn of flashy trappings and could get on with the job with their heads down. Recent American business history is replete with examples of poster boys having to make way for boring, faceless leaders who could just stay the disciplined course. These CEOs were expected to navigate treacherous turbulence with a back-to-the basics mantra coupled with the right doses of “responsible” tokenism through voluntary paycuts and similar Gandhian acts. B-School gurus seem to have reached a consensus that regimented, restrained leaders are the best bet to weather a storm. The probability of their indulging in high-risk cavalier acts which could plummet organizations into a hopeless abyss is indeed low. With brighter weather round the corner, when significant course correction is the recommended order of the day is when the flesh pumping, awe-inspiring prima donnas merit their place in the sun.

One could therefore argue that the worst of the financial crisis was behind Obama when he occupied the hot seat. Hence, pizzazz over substance is what America needed too given that turnaround is what the doctor ordered (to put it mildly). Here is where the difference sets in. It has more to do with the process of selection than requirement or expectations from leadership. While several CEOs do have tailwinds in the form of ivy league degrees, loquacity and oodles of luck, it is rare for an individual to occupy the corner office without a track record of demonstrated success. (typically multiple times over). An open election system which does not call for any “qualifications” for the top job on the other hand, is bound to throw up leaders like Obama who get tossed upstairs on the strength of grandiloquent rhetoric. While he will probably land on his feet ultimately, the gestation is proving costly for America. The first couple of years are the only hope a nation has of steps in the right direction. The latter half of the tenure will be spent towards re-elction anyways. America deserved better than love and fresh air.

The "Chintan" Ahead

2009-08-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

Television anchors suddenly had something more meaningful to debate than “sach ka saamna” as the Jaswant Singh saga unraveled itself in all its glory. Ever since the “chintan baithak” witnessed the dismissal of a former cabinet minister of significant import, most observers of the political theatre seem to herald this as the beginning of the end of the BJP.

For starters, there were a set of avoidable bloopers. Jaswant Singh was certainly tempting fate blatantly by scripting a tome on partition (and Jinnah). Having been an important backroom player in managing the repercussions for L K Advani post a seemingly innocuous remark, he is displaying misplaced naiveté with his apparent surprise at the fallout. That he was aware he would stir a hornet’s nest is a foregone conclusion. The party however could have pretended to play by the rules and allowed him to put up a defence which may have been summarily dismissed. The current move smacks of uncharacteristic haste and it could be a deliberate double whammy being played out by a legal eagle within the party. It helps him get rid of one heavyweight and significantly weaken the party president, the inevitable fall guy for the consequences of such a seemingly rash move.

Personally, I do not read too much into sound bites around the BJP’s “fascist behaviour” and “disrespect for freedom of speech”. Given the Sangh Parivar’s stated (and recently reiterated) position on M A Jinnah , the party just had to respond when pushed to the corner due to provocative literary pursuits by a senior, “responsible” leader. Politics is a lot about symbolism. Buta Singh not being given the boot despite glaring evidence of wrongdoing given possible impact on the SC/ST vote in the impending assembly elections is a case in point. Lets face it, the BJP had no choice. The only difference is that a Congress or BSP worker will not even dream of writing a book that remotely defies the party line. Jaswant Singh exploited the BJP’s relatively superior democratic ethos to a fault.

A lot is being written about a terminal decline of the BJP thanks to multiple layers of factionalism. The party does indeed run the risk of being buried permanently but here is where the party needs to look at the Congress for inspiration. A very large part of the anti-Congress political landscape of the country is dotted with ex-Congressmen. From a V P Singh to a Devi Lal to a Biju Patnaik, most opposition leaders were those who broke away from the Congress (the founder of the RSS, Keshav Hedgewar also began his political career with the India National Congress!). Each time, the Congress emerged stronger albeit around the backbone of a family name. It is time now for the BJP to bite the bullet and get into a no-holds barred succession battle, identify the first among equals and dust itself of the also-rans. Some could join the ranks of other opposition parties but it will also provide the party with a new- found opportunity to welcome a few political middleweights who find the party unacceptable in its current avatar.

For that to happen however, L K Advani and his shadow need to disappear from the horizon. He needs to finally accept the fact that his time has come and his cause is better served by dignified “sanyas”. Though, whether he wishes to be compared in the annals of history to Sardar Patel or Sitaram Kesri is a matter of personal choice. The former anyway seems to be fast appearing like a case of pure wishful thinking by the self-styled “lohpurush”.

Unspirited Musings

2009-06-07T03:58:00.001-07:00

My keen interest in whisky is known to most of my friends and acquaintances. Not surprisingly therefore, I looked forward to a Scotland trip with much enthusiasm, a lot of which turned out to be misplaced. Make no mistake, Scotland is a very pretty country and Edinburgh is by far the most picturesque city that I have travelled to. The people are warm, full of fun and the eateries/taverns are extremely welcoming. This city seems to have it all. Rich cultural & academic heritage, landmark monuments coupled with bustling and trendy commercial enterprise sans any of the inconvenient trappings of big city living.

However, here is why the whisky lover in me came back disappointed:

- I must have visited nearly two dozen watering holes in the couple of evenings that I spent in Scotland . I had the privilege of witnessing only two gentlemen downing whisky across all of them! Afternoon sojourns to pubs in smaller towns yielded similar results. This, when whisky is fairly reasonably priced compared to beer or wine.

- The range of whiskies on offer would easily be put to shame by slightly upscale bars in any of the metros back home. To add insult to injury, most displays outside pubs only spoke of their beers & wines! So much for Scotland being whisky country!

- I visited "Royal Mile Whiskies", a store with much fan-following the world over, and scores of literature dedicated to it. It was manned by 4 people- 2 Americans, a Finnish gentleman and just one Scotsman (arguably the least knowledgable of the 4). I asked for 5 malts that were top of my shopping list. The store had NONE of them! I did get some good whiskies and the store does have a decent selection of spirits but it comes nowhere close to "The Whisky Exchange" in London and it does nothing to merit the hype it generates in the whisky fraternity the world over.

- I visited another whisky store but even worse was in store. When I asked for special whisky glasses that most single malt enthusiasts treasure, the manager instructed his store-keeper to fetch me some of "those funny-shaped glasses"! (I am convinced he has his whisky with soda)

It can be argued with some merit that Edinburgh is nowhere close to being whisky country and I was better off visiting specific islands steeped in rich whisky tradition. Sure enough it is on my to-do list for the future. But I have returned from Edinburgh with reasonable conviction that whisky drinking is on the wane and perhaps irrecoverably so. Alas, that does not warm my palate.

I owe a big Thank You to my friend Anurag Chatrath for keeping me company as we went pub crawling endlessly. This, despite he being a rather reluctant tippler.

Rahul Baba Chaalis Chor

2009-05-07T00:13:00.000-07:00

The Congress spin doctors have tripped again. There was wide ranging feedback that Rahul Baba was being perceived as soft, a trifle daft and a little naive for the rough and tumble of Indian politics. Attempts to reach out to the masses were appearing way too incongruous for a chocolate faced youngster with characteristic Babalog demeanour. The solution was a hard-hitting press conference where Yuvraaj was to demonstrate his new found "political maturity". And what a mess!

The young AICC General Secretary sought to legitimise post-electoral promiscuity. As if driving home the absence of permanent political scruples was not bad enough, he naively sought to reach out to perceived fence sitting BJP allies by praising their governance in public! If coalition maneuveres could be achieved by appealing to egos thru press statements, an Amar Singh would have been unemployed long ago. In fact a young political scion with no administrative accomplishments under his belt sitting in judgement on stalwarts like Nitish and Chandrababu would have actually offended them. Even the left snubbed him publicly and the Baba's image managers must be licking their wounds while strategizing their next disaster.

My unsolicited advice to Rahul Baba would be to shed the apprehension of losing a few small battles to win the war. Contesting elections from the comfort of the family pocket burrough, shying away from ministerial responsibility for fear of a public expose' of incompetence and resorting to one-way press conferences as opposed to televised debates will keep you perpetually in boyhood. Currently even a lightweight like Ravi Shankar Prasad may perhaps knock you out in 23 seconds but it is important to stoop to conquer. Coming a cropper in televised debates will prepare you for more impactful and relevant debates in Parliament. Warm-up games don't matter. The Big Match does.

Your cronies may ill-advise you that the crown-prince does not level with his lowly subjects but history is replete with examples to the contrary. Should you fail to deliver as a minister, the lessons learnt will hold you in good stead for the eventual top job that your family party is bound to confer upon you whenever it has electoral tailwinds. The nation cannot afford to experience incompetence in the top job (again!) . Post independence, your grandmother has been the single most important political figure in the country. Her lack of concrete and commensurate contribution notwithstanding, she was strengthened by every defeat (political, legal or electoral). Sad to see you enveloped in escapism as opposed to grabbing opportunity with both hands. But then, some things never change. Primacy of THE Family and Power of the Coterie are 2 such permanent features of the Congress. Wish the same could be said of their alliance scruples.

Reader's Block

2009-04-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

One of my occupational hazards is travel which comes with an inescapable wait at airports, lounges and the like. A positive fallout of this drudgery is an opportunity to catch up on reading (books). As I waited to catch an early evening flight last week, I was bemused to observe everybody poring into multi-hued newspapers with not a single soul attempting to read anything else. Morning flights are replete with identical sights. An added plethora of self-important professionals type away furiously on their laptops.

I failed to grasp the import of going over a newspaper in the evening having presumably done so in the morning too. (None of these newspapers have evening editions, at least not publicly known ones) Ditto for the laptop addicts. Were it not for a painful flight, their slumber would have ordinarily deprived employers of their new-found creativity in the wee hours of the morning anyway.

And yet, most people I meet lament the absence of available time to catch up on reading. Frequent travellers apart, even those who spend a couple of hours a day on Facebook, 6 hours a week catching up on movies (not counting travel time to Cinema) often complain about the inadequacy of a mere 24 hours in a day. P G Wodehouse is invariably something one "used to read" and favourite authors are typically those one read in college (or even school) . An honourable exception though is unfailingly made for decorated works (read "Booker Prize Winning") of Indian authors a la "The WhiteTiger". However mediocre some of these tomes may be, there is a potential risk of being perceived as an embarrassing illiterate in a gathering where everybody has "found time" to read this one magnum opus in 3 years. Hence, the authors laugh their way to the bank.

As a consequence, most of our social networks tend to largely revolve around current or former colleagues. In the absence of expanding or deepening interests, the opportunity to discuss mundane and often irrelevant happenings at workplace is a convenient fallback.
A second and more serious fallout is for the forthcoming generation. It is highly unlikely they shall seek enrichment through non-curriculum reading. Is it surprising a far higher number of parents tend to boast of their progeny's skill with gadgetry, sport (or even mimicry) as opposed to vocabulary?

Make no mistake I am not the world's best known bibliophile. I would not even qualify as a voracious reader. But my last sojourn in an airport lounge painfully exposed me to the demise of the "bookworm" (face it, you last heard this term in school!).

Devil and The Deep Sea

2009-03-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

I am the lone Orissa connection for many of my friends. I am often asked if Naveen Patnaik will win a third term as CM. In my opinion, under two months from now he will. Here is why:

- Congress, the primary opposition party pulls out a semi-retired politician bereft of regional stature from the closet and appoints him as the head of the provincial arm.

- He is assigned 3 lieutenants, all of whom belong to differing local factions to “assist” in the decision making process of ticket allotment.

- The lieutenants expectedly engage in pulling each other in opposite directions only to realize its a futile squabble anyway since the writ of the family head shall reign supreme and any self -styled satrap is at best a courier.

- Consequently, with 45 days to go for polls, each ticket aspirant camps in delhi with hangers-on, mentors, moneybags et al with scant attention for the constituency where the battle ought to have been fought.

- A list of candidates is finally published. As it turns out, this was only to facilitate more trips to the sanctum sanctorium with fresh godfathers to plead one’s case. The original list is revised.

- Now, the party has to go to the polls with 4 categories of “congressmen” in the fray- (1) official candidate (2) official candidate (former), (3) lead dissident (made it to neither list despite best attempts) and (4) fence crosser. (denied ticket by BJD and granted refuge).

With an opposition party in such shape, one does not really need a “chanakya” to strategize for the CM (Patnaik has an over-rated one). The circus around the current General Elections have reinforced my belief in the two-party system. However, Orissa desperately needs a Third Front to prevent further damage to the state. The consequences of having a non-existent opposition are as follows:

- A 11-year old alliance partner is dumped in the face of an opportunistic possibility of a solo government. A big bully arrangement is put forward with the sole objective of humiliating the alliance partner into separation.

- Any pretensions of political scruples are thrown to the winds and last-minute rebel congressmen are not just welcomed but also rewarded with prestigious constituencies.

- A third term by the same government shall ensure there is no political will (or ability) to confront the Maoist menace. Senior law-makers privately concede numerous districts are not in state control. We shall soon grapple with an insurgency situation akin to the North-East.

- The state shall continue to languish at the bottom of the per-capita income charts. I mention this AFTER Law & Order because rule of law is something we have lost only in the last decade and might do so irrecoverably but for rapid damage control. The current state government’s definition of “governance” is restricted to suspending civil servants and cops for alleged misdemeanour.

- Lastly, it pains me to see dictatorial dynasty rule in one’s home state. While it might be argued that every regional party comprises one master surrounded by mass subservience, most states run by regional parties have strong opposing forces who act as a counter weight. In the absence of such a phenomenon in Orissa, complete anarchy prevails.

In my view, the BJD shall form the next government in Orissa and shall also be part of ANY central government formation. Alas, one is not spoilt for choice. I seriously hope we soon have a young leader with mass appeal who shall take up the cudgels of building the state before it degenerates to a point of no return.

Leagues Apart

2009-03-25T05:20:00.000-07:00

The elections have claimed an unlikely victim in the shape of IPL.

The setting had all the makings of a potboiler. A wealthy industrialist with strong links to a BJP CM stumbles upon cricket administration (there is indirect spice around the CM links too which the media chooses not to report). The CM is overthrown and her lackeys face the heat from all sides. Bureaucrats, whose fate the larger-than-life cricket administrator once presided over, humiliate him on home turf in the local cricke body elections. The ruling party turns the knife by ensuring “its” state governments throw up their hands in despair citing security concerns. The proverbial last straw comes when the BCCI President, a hitherto ally of the ruling party switches camps before the elections.

So whichever way you look at it, the IPL and the General Elections were badly entangled well before the controversy around security began.

- Could the outcome have been any different if Sharad Pawar was part of a Congress-led alliance ?

- Who is guilty of being more pig-headed? The IPL for being inflexible about dates or the Govt about security arrangements?

- Is it really so much of a shame if the Government of the world’s largest democracy wishes to deploy all available security resources for the elections?

- Before Wimbledon 2009 begins, preparations for the 2010 tourney are already underway. Do we believe the organizers would shift to Roland Garros if there were serial blasts in London a week before Wimbledon or would they scrap the year's tournament altogether? The IPL may not be a century-old tradition but shifting to South Africa has ensured nothing around it will ever be considered sacrosanct.

- If the IPL had to be played for the benefit of TV audiences, could we not have arrived at a compromise solution where all matches were played in a single (Indian) City??

- Was the threat to shift to SA a mere mind-game which flopped when Chidambaram refused to take the bait?

For once, I do not have a strong opinion but numerous unanswered questions and mild views around some of them. However, the “Indian” Premier League beamed live from South Africa certainly is one big farce. But then, if Manmohan Singh could be a Rajya Sabha MP from Assam, I guess IPL has extended the same logic albeit in a slightly warped manner. Security concerns are being positioned as a political stance because those killed in the attack on the Lankan cricketers were faceless policemen. If a single international cricketer had been killed, the fraternity would have been numbed into a far more balanced response.

The Mahatma of Good Times

2009-03-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

There is much hullabaloo over Gandhi’s possessions being bought by a liquor baron thereby denigrating the core of Gandhian values. The chattering classes engage in yet another attempt at puritanical ideology over pragmatism. As with everything else, the blame has been squarely pointed at the doors of the government. I am not the greatest fan of Ambika Soni (or the UPA Govt) but assuming there was a (covert) Govt hand in the auction, what real choice did they have? The same folks would have been baying for its blood for letting such "valuable symbols of national prestige" stay in the hands of foreigners. There would have been various symbolic interpretations by journalists clamouring to make the maximum intellectual impact with perverse theories. Can any government afford it, least of all in an election year?

- Journalists are better off directing their energy at how items as personal as slippers found their way into the hands of materialistic collectors. In all likelihood, it is the (extended) family which brought shame to the legacy.

- If we wish to liberate the government of the day from such avoidable compulsions, maybe its time we stopped making such a big deal out of anything to do with Gandhi. If we were unaware of these suddenly valuable belongings residing overseas all these years, why raise such a storm now? I would also argue a lot of the principles Gandhi stood for is less meaningful today and often borders on being impractical. (Anyone residing in Gujarat would point to the futility of prohibition) In my own attempt at being intellectually perverse (a la numerous columnists) let me propound a theory that a liquor baron paying for Gandhi’s personal items publicly signals the end of the topical relevance of Gandhian values .

- If I were Ambika Soni though, I would have arranged for Nusli Wadia to bid for the items. What can make for better PR than Jinnah’s grandson getting the Mahatma’s spectacles back to India??? The publicists could have spun a whole new story around a new era in cross-border relations. Amar Singh too missed an opportunity for a trademark stunt. Munnabhai standing up for Gandhian pride would have set the Lucknow electorate on fire what with Gandhigiri being an official poll strategy for the convicted actor. But then again the media would have screamed itself hoarse at the grave injustice to the legacy with an Arms Act convict successfully bidding for goods that belonged to the ultimate purveyor of non violence.

Bharatiya Congress Party

2009-02-23T05:32:00.000-08:00

Some months ago, I was chided by a journalist friend for my views on the Congress party being a family-run proprietorship with scant scope for healthy disagreement or independent opinion. As per him, my corporate upbringing should have helped me comprehend that “Gandhi” was a brand-name to fetch votes in much the same way as “Surf” is meant to garner revenues for Levers. It was suggested I was displaying naivet'e in trying to search for ideology in what was purely business. As all kinds of unholy alliances are being sewn in the run-up to the next elections, one important change is the voters ability to decipher that stated ideology is a mere electoral position and consequent indifference to peripheral issues when it comes to voting. With characteristic middle-class double standards, we will label Ajit Singh as a classic turncoat but shall have enormous respect for Chidambaram who has been finance minister for opposing regimes with no visible moral compunctions whatsoever. ( Incidentally Ajit Singh too is an IIT graduate with years in the U.S. computer industry to boot but his image managers lost the plot somewhere). Reality is that PC did not fare too badly under either regime thus reinforcing the belief that the 2 primary national parties which form the backbone of their respective alliances are cut from the same cloth after all.

Why then are the BJP and Congress not talking to each other about an alliance? For starters, both are “religious” parties- one survived with minority appeasement and the other grew thru majority appeal. (please note I refrained from use of contentious terms such as “secular”) They still lay claim to having the best political talent (albeit from a far from world-class pool). And save for a few purely electoral issues have an increasingly similar agenda on issues of national security & economic development , inarguably the most important items on hand in the immediate term.

Given constituency level realpolitik, such an alliance can be announced only after the polls but I believe there is a strong case in its favour for the following reasons:

1. The primary reason for the Congress "opposing" the BJP is that conventional wisdom prohibits #1 & #2 to tie-up. Ironically, it is the BJP's political relevance and not irreconcilable manifesto differences that makes it an opposition party (if they were a pidly 12-member party they would have been part of every government). Do the Left parties who have built their foundation opposing the Congress suddenly have more in common with them? Despite the overt LTTE connection, if the hatchet could be buried with DMK, is there a case for inflexible ideology anymore?

2. Given all-round economic uncertainty and the perilous internal security, we need a decisive government like never before. That can only happen if the ruling combination has 300-plus seats which is the raison d ‘etre for this combine anyway. It is imperative for certain firm policy decisions to be taken to their logical conclusion without an opposition that blocks any constructive activity for mere electoral visibility. Both the 2 large parties behave irresponsibly when pitted on opposite sides and hence it is best they play together. While this argument may appear undemocratic, too much of democracy does not seem to have helped anyone.

3. Executive and Judicial appointments will be made on greater grounds of merit which in turn will have a cascading effect on governance. Unlike today, it is less probable that the likes of either the outgoing CEC or his potential replacement will find their way into important constitutional posts on the strength of their overt political affiliations. There will still be some level of give-and-take but given automatic checks and balances, it is likely to be driven by considerations less petty than they currently are.

4. The country will be be spared the ignominy of being held to ransom by a set of petty power brokers (actually glorified p**** ) and their hangers on. With a narrow constituency to pander (and even narrower considerations to ride on) the presence of each one of these chieftains is regressive and this whole business of coalitions has been turned into a circus.

If I had the veto, my proposed arrangement would be:

The party with higher number of seats gets to nominate the Prime Minister and the electorally smaller party gets the Home or Finance portfolios. For sheer adeptness at political adhesiveness, my vote would have gone to Pranab Mukherjee for PM but my right-wing bias obstructs this vote.

Contentious issues such as Ayodhya, Article 370 etc should be kept in abeyance for the full 5-year term. Most of them are electoral issues that are not too relevant for governance anyway.

My choice of team would be- Manmohan Singh (Finance), Arun Jaitley (Home), Narendra Modi (Defence) , Kamal Nath (Commerce), Rahul Gandhi (External Affairs), Kapil Sibal (Law), Arun Shourie (Industry) and Pranab Mukherjee (Parliamentary Affairs). Alternative suggestions are welcome. (the conideration set has excluded people from non-Congress/BJP parties).

Who would be the leader of opposition then?? Speaker?? The prospects are interestingly endless. Of course, the treacherous issue around family hegemony remains.

Weighty Matters

2009-02-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

On the 21st of this month, I am invited home for a do by somebody I meet 4 times a week but is a stranger of sorts. We speak each time we meet but know little about each other but for our names. As I pondered over this invite by a gym-mate, my thoughts went down memory lane on the myriad experiences in health clubs over the years.

I first stepped into a gym (actually an improvised "akhada") when I was 17- just into college, embarrassingly thin and painfully conscious of it. Situated in moffusil surroundings the club was frequented by neighbourhood toughies and serious bodybuilders. Given that I was from "out-of town" and bereft of local godfathers, this place was a messiah of sorts. Located right next to my college, my "buddies" (thanks to an inexplicable sense of fraternity most small-town gyms have) ensured I stayed out of trouble whenever anyone acted smart with me (or vice-versa). I may not have made any real friends here but I still have a deep sense of association with everyone I worked out with here thanks to a prevalent mindset of treating gym-mates as team members. As an aside, my physique remained unchanged after 3 years of serious pumping.

At B-school, the world was divided into two- those who lifted weights and nerds. That I belonged to the former category did not show! Bonding took a whole new meaning here and the "gang" would work out together and then hang out in the evenings as the studious biblophiles furthered their pursuit of academic glory. Contrary to popular perception though, few muscled men scored with the opposite sex. This however was cynically blamed on a B-school lady's obssessive (and new-found) desire to be seen as a thinking man's sex symbol (or in some cases an opportunistic alliance to secure grades!). Ironically, while most iron pumping blokes sought favour with the intellegentsia for notes, projects etc all year, there was an amusing role reversal in the months before job placements. Fitness experts used to be in sudden demand as there was an emergent belief that 2 years of rote would count for nothing in the face of a bulging waistline and smartly turned out duffers might steal the thunder. Attempts typically lasted for 7 1/2 days till futility dawned on both sides. End result- my physique still remained unchanged but I must say more folks from this gang are likely to attend my funeral than any other sub-group I have been part of. I made friends for life.

Work took me to another small town in Gujarat, a state not particularly known for its passion for fitness (even among the millions who migrate to the U.S.) I had hoped to trade fitness tips for stock market advice but I soon discovered gyms in Gujarat were frequented by only 2 kinds of people- the terribly lonely and outsiders. The former ensured I had convenient supply of beer in the dry state but I had to occasionally pretend to be interested in local gossip during sessions (which invariably revolved excessively around promiscuity). I (finally) managed to develop some muscle tone though I fervently hoped I would get to visit a new gym soon.

For the next several years, I stayed off a fitness regimen. It can be greatly blamed on my years in South India where I felt like Schwarzenegger in most night clubs anyway and hence remained deprived of any motivation to lift weights. My strength levels dipped considerably though I started getting bigger. A much awaited shift to Delhi ensured one was back where one loved to be only to realize one had been caught in a time warp as far as gym-buddies went.

Gone are the days of doing the bench-press together in alternate sets as is the post workout drink. (even though the bar is a flight of stairs away). Locker rooms provide for enormous amounts of conversation but they revolve around politics, cinema, food and sometimes vacations. Anything that is generic and impersonal goes. A few well-known personalities who hit the treadmill suffer a bit more. They are relegated to worse levels of loneliness as nobody wishes to be seen as a wannabe "sucking up" to them. Sometimes I see a set of people disappear to the bar together but it is invariably a bureaucrat-businessman combination . More on that another day.

While I can't say I have been complaining about the state of affairs in my current gym, the "boy" in me is looking forward excitedly to this forthcoming do. Looking forward to drinking with people one works out with as one has done for over a decade now and hoping to add to the list of people one can eventually count as "friends". Guess this is a queer and slightly unique sense of bonding and only those who have experienced it can empathize with it. I am tempted to suggest this is a "male-only" phenomenon but then do I run the risk of raising feminist hackles ? Or maybe I am downright off the mark on that count.

Slumming It

2009-01-30T10:22:00.000-08:00

“Slumdog Millionaire” seems to have brought our misplaced sense of patriotism and needless schizophrenia to the fore. The movie apparently shows India “in poor light” and has divided the cocktail circuit and bollywood camps alike. The outrage seems to derive itself from the fact that the movie was directed by a foreigner. So a Mira Nair describing Mumbai poverty, albeit in a slightly varied form is acceptable but it is sacrilege for a foreigner to do likewise. Concurrently, there is pride in A R Rahman’s nominations i.e. we are proud of the Indian music composer but some of us are angry at a “phoren” director.

The Big B is normally measured in his response to anything and weighs political correctness in all public postures to a point of appearing devious. He too has thrown in his weight behind the objecting masses and seems to believe that depiction of Indian slums points to a conspiracy by the western world to paint a shabby picture of our country. Whether it reflects on his genuine concern as an honourable ambassador of our country or veiled envy at losing out on the grand scheme of things in a platform which matters is debatable.

Using the Big B as a reference point, I am tempted to ask if say, Sarkar Raj showed our country or Mumbai in glorious light. How does telling the world that we have a Mumbai that is lawless and obeys the writ of a parallel power-centre flattering for the image of the nation? Or is the argument that this is fictitious and hence passes muster but the existence of slums is real (and tragic) and hence out of bounds? Or is it about wanting to say that we can talk about our dirty underbelly but non-citizens can’t? To demand that foreigners are entitled to make films only about the cellphone revolution, the golden quadrilateral or our once-flourishing software/BPO industry seems preposterous. Films are a form of entertainment, a medium for people to express their creativity with the option of delivering a broader social message. The proportion of each of these elements is an individual decision and should be left at that.

I hail from the eastern province of Orissa. I have been living away from my home state for over a decade and am fairly used to meeting people who either struggle to place it on the map (especially in Mumbai) or mention the once famine-struck district of Kalahandi as their only source of familiarity with the state (despite my 6”2”, 90 kg frame!). Several of my compatriots are outraged at people’s ignorance about Orissa’s existence or its glorious maritime past, magnificent tourism opportunities and treasure of minerals. My reaction is typically one of amusement and silent determination. Amusement at people’s blinkers when it comes to world view and determination to contribute towards the state’s climb in the development pecking order in the years to come. To expect people to look up in admiration at a state that still dominates the bottom rungs of the per capita income charts is a bit far-fetched. (Despite my parochialism on the subject I need to concede Orissa is no Gujarat- yet)

I believe we are similarly placed as a nation on the global arena. We are a country on the upswing, but have a lot of ground to cover and will also do well to recognize the sharp, unparalleled disparity at both ends of the spectrum. A mere movie getting critical acclaim should neither affect our sensibilities nor distract from the mission of continuing the path of progress. “External” sources pointing to parts of our ugly underside should only make us vow to ourselves that we get rid of them.

Incidentally, on the subject of parochialism, Mira Nair grew up in Bhubaneshwar (Mumbaikars are forgiven for assuming Bhubaneshwar is a suburb north of Jogeshwari) :-)

Perils of Symbolism

2008-12-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

After a colleague said he was determined to “do something” about the Mumbai terror attacks by writing a blog, I was determined not to write on the subject lest it be construed as an equally preposterous motive. My overwhelming emotion was Guilt. Guilt at having chosen not to contribute actively to the country’s well-being. Guilt at not having had the courage to join the armed forces and abstain from seeking a cushy existence. However, the reaction of most “responsible” Mumbaikars and the clichéd call for politicians’ heads prompts another cynical blog post. As day-2 of the unbelievably tragic chain of events unfolded, the media, after having contributed thru some exceptionally courageous reporting, gave in to the pressures of sustaining shifty eyeballs and roped in famous faces to deliver their platitudes.

Sample some of the gems: Sanjana Kapoor, who runs an inherited theatre and has no publicly known expertise on internal security or public administration was seen exhorting “Delhi not to vote if Shivraj Patil was not removed”. Who or what is “Delhi” ?? Certainly a bunch of theatre persons making a call for an undemocratic act of omission cannot possibly be seen as representing “Delhi’s” decision. What annoys me is not that the person in question made such a ludicrous suggestion. (I would do likewise if asked about my views on marine conservation) Why the media should allow them a forum to do so beats me.

Shobha De, the queen of acerbic sound bites warned politicians against meddling with “her” Mumbai. The city has had enough of them it seems. Another young gent stood with a candle in his hand to threaten politicians and terrorists alike about messing with Mumbai. So who will guard Mumbai? The Page-3 circuit?? Or do we expect terrorists to be scared of candles? Then we have Suhel Seth who makes it his business to appear on TV as an expert on just about everything. For someone who is widely described as a “fixer” at best, I am perplexed why TV channels fall over each other to have this unpleasant, abrasive and pompous soul on screen (I can understand Sanjana Kapoor having cosmetic value if little else).

To cut to the chase, I guess we are all justifiably enraged, sad and deeply anguished at the goings-on in our country. Each one of us could have been caught in the unfortunate sequence of events. Most of us have lost friends, relatives or people we knew of. What I am lashing out at is our standard reaction to blame it all on the politicians. It is as much our country as it is Vilasrao Deshmukh’s. How many of us dream of a career in the armed forces/police services for our children (I am told Shobha De has 5 of them!), nephews or nieces? Did we even try going down that road ourselves?

Before we blame the “system” for being discouraging, lets remember that it is the same system that threw up the heroes who we are saluting today. They were there because they dared to believe that individuals can make a difference regardless of the inherent deficiency in a system. I am not just referring to the ATS/NSG heroes. Even more heroic were the Taj and Oberoi staffers who could have scurried for cover, run to their living rooms and blamed the political system for the woes that befell their property. Contrast that with our typical response to blasts in a locality. Most of us stay put at home and encourage friends and relatives to do likewise. How many of us rush to help the wounded? Instead of queuing up at TV studios, why could the Cine Actors not rush to hospitals to donate blood if such was their concern for the city?

Make no mistake. I am not defending the terrible state of affairs that our governance has reached. It is a system that we have created and the more passive our participation, the worse it will get. Let us introspect to direct part of the anger at ourselves instead of venting it at inept and indifferent politicians. They probably have a different view of their duty from what an utopian society would have demanded of them. To change the system, we have to be part of it (and not thru symbolism by voting). Till then I refuse to blame or complain. By not even attempting to participate in the country’s governance, I am as guilty as someone who has done so incompetently.

I cannot help but conclude with my comments on some of the comical political responses to the event:

- Replacing Shivraj Patil with P Chidambaram is a case of diverting a fireman from one burning house to another. The economy is now poised to face an even starker threat and we could do with the business-like approach of PC as opposed to the professorial approach that our Prime Minister is known to have (pressures on his schedule apart). Perhaps, it is a telling reflection on the bench strength in the UPA.
- Using Ram Gopal Verma’s presence as a trigger to oust Vilasrao Deshmukh reminds me of the farcical moment when Rajiv Gandhi brought down the Chandrashekhar Government ostensibly because of Haryana Police constables posted outside his house.
- Narendra Bhai got it wrong for once. Increasingly regarded as someone who emphasized action over symbolism, he disappointed this time. Ironically, I have received text messages from those who previously regarded him as a pariah, hailing him as a potential saviour of the nation. Perhaps he was winning over a different constituency this time .

Lastly, where on earth is Arundhati Roy?? I am certain she will land up in Mumbai soon protesting human rights violations against the slain terrorists. Unless she already has. I have not watched TV for the last 3 days.

Barack who??

2008-11-09T03:03:00.000-08:00

This is a sequel of sorts to my earlier post on middle-class pseudo-snobbery and the first post in this blog.

I picked up the newspaper on yet another lazy sunday to see the edit page replete with columns on the new U.S. President and all kinds of analysis: from what he means for foreign policy to his familiarity with India to his wife's sex appeal. I met a friend for a few beers in the afternoon who in turn gets a call from a friend in the U.S. No points for guessing what they discuss. Obama's "presidential demeanour", acceptance speech, Sarah Palin's wardrobe and the like. Rinku and I went out for dinner this evening only to overhear folks having an intense argument on whether Obama is good for India and if Sarah was a potential nominee next time round. If you do not have a point of view on Obama (or maybe his hairstyle) today, you are not "with-it".

In contrast, I ask dozens of friends and colleagues to name the Member of Parliament from the constituency they reside in and they seldom get it right. "Queenie Dhody" and "Rohit Bal" are familiar names but alas elected representatives in the world's largest democracy are rarely accorded this privilege with the educated "elite" even in their own constituency. At workplace today try comparing familiarity between Carla Bruni and Devi Singh Shekhawat and you'll get what I mean (unless you are wondering who the latter is yourself!) .

Some thoughts that in my opinion will help us retain sanity in the current Obamania are:

- Election promises are made either targeting a particular socio-economic or ethnic group or in response to one's opponent's position on an important subject. The complexity of fulfiling the promise sinks in when one occupies the seat of power. So it is rather naive to make predictions on what a future government means for anyone basis mere public speeches and electoral commitments.

- The American Presidency, like any other democratic insitution, has historically been managed with primary focus on what will ensure a comeback 4 years hence as opposed to stated position in preceding campaign. Obama will be no different as he is an elected representative after all.

- The media does little research before it writes. Hence, an Indian nominated to the advisory committee of the transition team is supposed to have enough influence to grant Narendrabhai Modi his visa!

In short- lets not get too carried away by media coverage about a charismatic President-elect and try to foretell what the actual Presidency will be like.

Much as I am tempted to pass these off as my original views, they are the result of my eavesdropping during the afternoon beer. The neighbouring table was occupied by one of the top-most mandarins of the Vajpayee government . A man who had dealt with Democrats and Republicans alike and knew exactly what not to expect. I could not help agreeing with him completely.

Given the unprecedented media coverage of the American presidential polls in India, what we should indeed sit up and notice is the extent of the American middle-class' involvement in their country's political system. We on the other hand find it fashionable to have opinionated discussions around the American Presidency but Indian politics is treated as the preserve of the lower middle-class. Compare the calibre and backgrounds of people queing up to be part of the administration there with the line-up that we have.

We are certainly permitted counter arguments around America being the world's most important nation, Devi Shekhawat lacking Carla Bruni's charisma or worst of all blame the Indian political system for churning out what it does and the resultant disinterest. In my view though, our obssessive focus with the U.S. Presidency boils down to our age-old fetish for all things "phoren".

It is time we took similar interest in our own administration and drove majority opinion around creating a system that allows capable professionals adequate governance opportunities with the same fervour that we debate Obama's possible role in enhancing India's nuclear power generation capability . In the last Lok Sabha elections, it was a cocktail circuit fashion-statement to merely have voted. I sincerely hope the next one sees at least as much middle-class interest as the U.S. presidential elections did!

Un-Civil Defence

2008-10-02T00:26:00.000-07:00

Terrorism has finally struck at the soul of our country. Middle-class India is now wary of frequenting crowded marketplaces, evening-show movies and the like. The comparison most of us make is with the absence of terror-strikes in post-9/11 U.S. and our shameful track-record on the subject. A cursory look at the machinery that is responsible for our internal security will reveal why it should surprise none.

- The country's internal security is largely in the hands of a "coveted" cadre of cops drawn in from the Indian Police Services (IPS). Most of them opt for this service after having failed to make it to more lucrative/prestigious forms of civil services and many spend the first 2 years of their career re-appearing for the same exam in the hope of escaping from the torturuous rigmarole of chasing criminals in the middle of the night or queling rioteers. Given the nature of the civil services entrance process, they typically tend to have a pronounced academic bent and most of them are far more comfortable with Leo Tolstoy's "War & Peace" as opposed to Kalashnikovs (a lot of them turn to literary pursuits post retirement!). To expect folks of this genre to either develop an overnight sense of comfort with armed combat or a deep sense of commitment to the nation's battle against terrorism (when they normally harbour overt frustration at not having made it to civil administration) is a little far-fetched.

- Battling terrorism succesfully is dependent heavily on intelligence gathering. The country's intelligence network largely rests on 2 agencies- RAW and IB. I recently read a shoddily written but factually revealing book on RAW by an ex-serviceman. What is abundantly clear is that the 2 organisations revel in working at cross-purposes and focus singularly on one-upmanship with the political dispensation. Further, postings in these organisations often tend to be driven by a personal need to stay in Delhi as opposed to either commitment to internal security or domain expertise at intelligence. These internal conflicts are legion even within the CIA & FBI but 9/11 forced them to close ranks. Alas, a string of terror strikes seem to have contributed to nothing similar in our country. Intelligence gathering is dependent on trust and relationship developed with "sources" over several years and the deputation-driven musical chairs arrangement does not facilitate this.

I believe its not too late to invest in a system that should correct this in the long-term:

1. The IPS should be de-linked from the traditional civil services route. We should have a Police Academy on the lines of the National Defence Academy which should draw upon committed youngsters, preferably at under-graduate level and provide them with specialised training for 3-4 years. Like with the NDA, various streams of specialisation can be evolved- crime, intelligence, district administration and the like.

2. In the short-term, the Police Services should import specialists from the army in select crack outfits for combat and intelligence. There are several talented defence personnel who may not be able to climb the ladder within defence ranks given exalted medical requirements. However, they are certain to add a lot more value to the civilian security establishment than the current system permits. Believe it or not, RAW has folks from the Forest and Income Tax services deputed for external intelligence but defence personnel (when deputed) get relegated to telecommuncations and the like!

3 days ago, I expressed my admiration for the MOSSAD to a former CBI-chief I bumped into at at a bar. He reciprocated it and went on to mention how he was surprised when the MOSSAD chief called him to dinner when he was on an "undercover" trip to Israel. I thought it was a telling reflection on the state of affairs in our country.

An embarrassment of Riches

2008-08-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, the Times of India carried a column by a well-known and saucy columnist who rather harshly credited Abhinav Bindra’s gold medal almost entirely to his wealthy ancestry. Give the same private facilities to an impoverished young man and he too would dish out a medal (since a rich man cannot be talented) seemed to be the suggestion. I do not even wish to argue with this warped piece of logic (the columnist still goes on to sell more works of fiction in India than any other writer) but the column ended up articulating something that characterizes us. As a nation, we are still uncomfortable with affluence. The rich are supposed to be manipulative, exploiters of the labour class and generally unscrupulous. Be it social debates or bollywood, in the rich v/s poor battle the rich man is always evil. Have you seen maids running away with the driver and the “maalkin’s” jewels in Hindi movies? Don’t we all know of at least one household which has suffered a similar saga? Despite all the economic progress we have made, we have not shed the conscientious compulsions of being overtly socialist.

In stark contrast, I found our separated-at-birth neighbours being fairly comfortable with the fact that their former President would perhaps spend the rest of his life in an abode which facilitates his love for golf, cigars and whisky. The person who is likely to succeed him is an affluent businessman and the widower of one of the largest land-owning families of the country. He shares power with a former prime minister who too was a reigning industrial czar before he took to governance. If you look closely, apart from the hypocrisy of prohibition, Pakistan is a lot more comfortable with the good life than we are. Some say, it is largely a nation of “north Indians” and hence, living well or aspiring to do so is part of the DNA. Could it have something to do with the fact that Pakistan’s founder Jinnah loved the good life himself and brazenly so? There perhaps lies the answer to our double standards.

Our first prime minister too was a man who was more comfortable in the social company of Edwina Mountbatten but had to toe the Gandhian line for political survival. Hence, there was a constant balancing act between having your clothes dry-cleaned in London and nationalizing banks. The burden of carrying on the Gandhian legacy ensured we were socialists not just in our government policies but also in personal lives , at least the overt part. One is yet to see pictures of Netas with whisky glasses even though most politicians that I have met have an enviable private bar. We still insist that the kurta-pyjama is our “national dress” and business tycoons shed their Saville Row suits with remarkable ease when they take to politics (Vijay Mallya is an honourable exception but you can attribute it to his being un-ambitious in Politics). Rajiv Gandhi bucked the trend a bit with his Gucci/Cartier wardrobe making it to national publications but his family seems to be shying away from carrying the sartorial legacy forward.

We are firmly on the path of economic development, the odd GDP growth rate hiccups notwithstanding. We are making progress because we have embraced an open economy and shed some socialist baggage (but for the odd Singrur) . It is time we accepted some of the beneficiaries of capitalism for what they have accomplished. Currently we insist on painting them with a tarnished brush simply because one has to conform to a certain stereotype.

Finally a Blog Post!

2008-08-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

My previous posts have been about matters of national or social import (albeit self-perceived) but I was told thats the handiwork of a columnist. A blogger is meant to write about his personal experiences, problems, moments of euphoria etc something like a Web diary a la the Big B. I always thought that doing so would be terribly pompous. I mean, why would somebody want to know I had an upset stomach, for instance? However, I succumb and am finally biting the bait of self-importance and here is my first attempt at megalomania.

This weekend was the first long weekend since I changed jobs and also acquired a poor man's SUV. We planned on an economical getaway and settled for "Cloud End", a forest lodge off Mussoorie. As my first tangible benefit, I was gifted a 75-300 zoom lens as an important accessory for the visit. (To my utmost relief, my photography skills are something that have finally found domestic admiration). In true corporate style, summary of the trip as under:

- Cloud End is a superb destination for those in search of solitude amidst extremely picturesque environs. One needs to drive through a challenging dirt track in thick forests to reach this "hutment" nestled between scenic peaks and overbearing jungles. The succulent stuff that they dish out at the barbeque is to die for but the loo can drive you to death. If you seek opulence or perhaps even great hygiene, this is not the place for you.

- For my 6'2" frame and generally aggressive image, I turned out to be quite a chicken in the forests. When we left the place at night for a dinner invite, I bribed the lodge staff for a to-and-fro escort. (I blamed it on my poor sense of direction though!)

- Our hosts on day-1 were super. From great food to engrossing company to my favourite whiskies, we had it all. The bonus though was even better. Rinku had maintained (and it was a long standing difference of opinion) that government officials were either boring or arrogant (or both!). Thanks to our hosts, she now stands fully converted. In fact, in my decade-plus of knowing her, I had never seen her open up on the first meeting before.

- An Innova purchase is to be avoided at all costs. Nearly 200 of them crossed me on each side of the journey and each of them was driven by uncouth, rash (even rogue) taxi-drivers. They are the only people meant to drive that minibus anyway. My truck on the other hand deserves kudos for a superb suspension though the engine could have done better at high altitudes. I deserve a pat on the back too for being able to drive 10-12 hours at a stretch in my ripe middle age.

- The practically non-existent cellphone signal coupled with the absence of music and television in the eerily quiet lodge ensured I could read for hours on end. That brings me to the only serious point I insist on making in this post. I used to be a voracious reader till 1992 but since then reading has been sporadic and need-based. My current job involves a lot of travel and however pretentious it may sound, frequent air travel (obviously minus these distractions)really helps me catch up on reading. Hence, over the last few months there have been some reads that I recommend to all those I meet and I must put them on record in this blog. These are books that have probably influenced me permanently and I would want most of my friends to read them too.

1. India after Gandhi by Ramachandra Guha. This book seeks to chronicle the "history" of our country after independence. (typically termed as "political science" in academics) Apart from providing me with tons of information, it has helped a relative history-ignorant soul like me form a different perspective on several issues. National Language for one. I had always dismissed the Dravidians who protested against Hindi as parochial jingoists. Indeed I took great pride in my ability to speak Hindi with the same fluency as those from the cow belt and sans the accent from my home state. It has belatedly dawned on me that the nation as it exists, was anyway a contribution from the British. Hence, rather than view the use of English as a colonial hangover, it is perhaps prudent to recognise the Britisher's role and positive contribution to the Nation State the way we define it today.

2. Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra: I was once told "good fiction is not just fiction". This book is a telling example of that. Written about the Mumbai police and its relationship with the underworld, it goes beyond the cliched stuff on bribery driven nexus or religion based allegiances. It draws up the socio-economic profile of a middle-class mumbaikar thru the eyes of a policeman, throws up larger social conflicts and of course delves into the functioning of the police in far greater detail than anything I have read before. The narrative style with two parrallel stories converging towards the end is also refreshing though supposedly un-original. (apparently patented by Haruki Murakami years ago)

3. Fooled by Randomness by Nicolas Nassem Taleb. My blog title is a giveaway about my being deeply influenced by this book. I am responsible for recommending it to several, some of whom have begun reading it a second time. This book explains (rather wittily ) through compelling logic and statistics on how incompetent all of us are on the work front and how most of us confuse our good luck to be signs of our competence. The logic tends to be absurd at times but the moot message comes through very powerfully. A few caveats though. This book calls for the ability to concentrate for long periods of time (its not an easy read). More importantly, to internalise this book, one needs to have the rare ability to laugh at oneself. Lest I get too cynical, I had postponed reading the author's sequel of sorts "The Black Swan". Temptation got the better of me and I have started off this weekend. Please do not be surprised if the title of this blog changes in the weeks to come . Though, in this book, the writer makes fewer attempts to conceal his intellectual arrogance and contemptuous personality.

And yes, I have captured some satisfying pictures in Mussoorie including a breathtaking glimpse of the full moon. Hope to post them soon.

D Lal & Sons

2008-07-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

With the trust vote as a backdrop, I am tempted to adapt one the most powerful lines uttered in Ram Gopal Verma's "Sarkar" by the chandraswami inspired Godman, - "Amar Singh ek insaan hai. Dalaali ek soch". Hence, to understand the phenomenon that is Amar Singh (and his ilk), it is important to internalize the concept of Power Broking. Before I proceed I must confess, I have enormous (though grudging) respect for Amar Singh. He is self-made, has achieved what he sought to in a very short span of time and in a profession where power is the end objective, he has defined a means of continually staying relevant. To gauge a man’s political stature simply by measuring the size of the electorate behind him is passé and in a fast maturing democracy like ours, voters are just one moving part of the overall engine. There is a place for mass leaders and likewise one for those who move and shake them in order to keep the political barometer stable.

The metamorphosis of the safari-clad hanger-on into the urbane deal-maker has been done to death. That is not what this post seeks to achieve. I attempt to explore and unravel the secrets behind their success given that their existence is not restricted to the political domain. Most management trainees in corporates get bullied by name-dropping, archaic distributors who know the corner office occupant from his hardship days. Journalistic circles have stories galore about some of their brethren having the ability to "manage" government corridors and most business houses have liaison specialists who revel in pressing the right buttons and not necessarily with dollars alone. So what is it that makes this breed tick?

1. Information is Power: I have never met Amar Singh but we once traversed a few floors together in a hotel elevator. The other occupants were a safari suited crony, the hotel attendant and the Head of State of an obscure country with his security detail. Mr Singh engaged in a rapidfire conversation with the attendant, enquired about the credentials of the dignitary, expressed surprise at the minimalist bandobast and also sought comparisons with the Clinton entourage. As we got off the elevator and he settled into the exclusive lounge with the head of a large PSU bank, I couldn't help admire the ease with which he struck a rapport with a social "unequal" and the comfort with which he slipped into schmoozing with a corporate chieftain minutes later. What did not escape me too was his insistence on gathering information albeit seemingly irrelevant. It is probably a sigma of several such titbits that add up to a potentially explosive armoury of facts. Examine most deal-makers closely and you will observe a startling attention to such details coupled with an elephantine memory.

2. Objective Emotion: In the days when the likes of Murli Deora and Rajni Patel stalked the corridors of power , affiliations were public but animosities were guardedly muted and at best, undercurrents were on public display. Pramod Mahajan broke the mould but even he often had the gloves on while throwing his punches. A Rajiv Shukla (or Rudy) on the other hand wear their supposed hates on their sleeve with dignity being thrown the wind when the game is in play. Defining these goalposts is an integral part of the battle strategy so as to ensure at least team formation for the immediate spat on hand is a little less complicated. A fierce exchange of adjectives (and the odd expletive), an embarrassing laundry of dirty linen and of course a steadfast refusal to capitulate on the grounds of pride and dignity is par for the the course till one step before end-game, at which stage objective considerations take over. The difference though is that an Ajit Singh or a Narayan Rane falter after a few weeks (or at best a month) but successful practitioners of the trade can shadow box for a few years before "realising" they wore the same uniform. In the ensuing period, rhetorical diatribe is raised to a point where the price of compromise for the player in need is astronomical. But in an era where a 180-degree turn from an "uncompromising position of principle" is fairly accepted (and in fact expected), tactical venom spitting is a winning strategy.

3. A Friend Indeed: Here one has to give it to the brokers. One cannot succeed in this profession unless one has really debited the favour bank for friends. It is unlikely that Amitabh Bachchan keeps Amar Singh's company because of a shared love for hindi poetry or Dhirubhai's legendary association with Murli Deora owed itself to a paucity of alternative congress connections. Most of us would help friends if it were no sweat off our backs but those with the relevant phone books would go that extra mile and seek a favour in turn to help those who they count as friends. A prominent Delhi-based journalist openly boasts that a record number of people would name him as the person they would try to reach if they were given one number to dial when caught in a crisis. It is tempting for cynics to attribute several of these connections to facilitating the oldest profession in the world but even if that were the case, the ability to subsequently honour Omerta is essential and praiseworthy. There need be no permanent enemies but it is essential to have a few all-weather friends.

4. No Pride to go before a fall: This enterprise is rather unforgiving on the way up. One has to stomach insults, gate-crash into parties , wait endlessly at office lobbies/living rooms and hope it will all add up in the long run. A senior government functionary told me several years ago how an instrumental power broker in the last trust vote had once landed uninvited to a do in his honour accompanied by a veteran Maharashtra politician. Not only was he comfortable doing so, he actually beamed proudly on being introduced as the biggest fixer in town. Moral of the story: if you have not inherited a powerful address book by birth, you have to keep pride aside while creating it. Secondly, one should never attempt to take moral high ground in public. In fact, it is the absence of stated principles that equip the power broker with the lethal stones to throw at the glass houses that everyone increasingly seems to reside in.

With the passage of time and with our populace displaying greater maturity, I expect some of the activities that D Lal & Sons engage in to be legitimized. That will rid them of some of the sleaze in their imagery and also compel society to be less contemptuous of them than it currently is. One has to admire each of the deal-makers for being self-made with no Gandhi/Abdullah/Pilot surname to back them. For it to be a level playing field, we need to have the new darling of parliament, Omar Abdullah daring to contest from Aska (a constituency in my home state from where the sitting BJD MP was bought). Step back and remove the names involved and one realises the nation owes several progressive developments like Abdul Kalam's Presidency (read the first 10 pages of P C Alexander's autobiography if you dont believe me) and the eventual clear passage of the nuclear deal to machinations by members of "The Firm".

PLAYing to the Gallery

2008-07-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

I just returned home after sitting through a terribly boring play. The play was directed by a well-known theatre personality (or so I am told by my Mumbaikar friends) who insisted on also being the main actor, the narrator et al and I could not comprehend a thing about the happenings on stage but I got the distinct impression that I was not in a minority. A few months ago, I had watched another play by the same director with identical consequences . Why then do I watch plays when I actually cant figure out most of them? And why is it that people readily describe movies as "good", "average" or "bad", but when it comes to theatre, its always platitudes like "it was so intense" or "the characterisation was really well thought through" or worse still " I could really identify with so-and-so" . In my view, plays, like a lot else around us, give us a false sense of intellectualism about ourselves. I must sheepishly confess that I never told people I thought a play was utterly boring for fear of being typecast as unintelligent. I must also concede that while I have at best run into an odd friend or colleague in a cinema, I do find myself seated amidst a few well-known lawyers, writers and painters while I watch a play. As I reluctantly stood up and joined the crowd applauding the actors after tonight's performance, I couldnt help laugh at my own pretentiousness at having come back to watch yet another Makarand Deshpande farce.

But why just theatre. Lets take reading habits for instance. I once had a leading south-Indian lawyer gatecrash into a do at my place and wax eloquent on Machiavelli's "Prince" and "The Arthashastra" being essential reading for all those who breathe. Given my limited intellect, I had taken about 3 months to read the former (mind you, a pithy 150-page book!) but I actually managed to hold an animated discussion with him about the latter, a book that I am yet to read. I was quoting from the former and I easily managed to get away with it! I had to look pleadingly at the wife every few minutes to prevent her from giving the game away. Later, she confessed she was most impressed with my ability to talk confidently on a subject I knew nothing of with someone who did so for a living. I borrow the title of my blog from a path-breaking book, "Fooled by Randomness" (again, I took a full 4 months to finish it). I recommended it to a colleague who was caught raving about the contents and radical ideas of the author a mere 48 hours later. So much for trying to fool with randomness.

Most of us would probably readily agree at having "acquired" tastes. In plainspeak what it means is we made an effort to like something because societal pressures forced us to. One such category is Art. Its typically patronised by two kinds of people. The first who do not know what to do with their money and the second who have to differentiate the decor in their homes and a painting ensures exclusivity of some kind. Quiz most art-lovers and you will discover their appreciation journey comprises going to galleries every weekend, speaking to the odd gallery owner for tips and familiarising themselves with names of prominent and promising artists. (The latter is typically a term used to describe painters whose work one can easily afford) Ultimately, a purchase decision is based on the universal set of all 3 i.e. painters one sees frequently, recommended by gallery owners/fellow buyers and subject to budget criteria being met. It is extremely rare to find a genuine art-lover, one who reads about the history of various styles of art, researches the work of specific painters and goes on to take an informed purchase decision about something one likes too. In fact, several purists do scoff at the vulgar dimensions that investment in art has taken. On the intellectual aspiration pecking order though, there are few interests to beat art at the moment.

Places to be seen at is another inexplicable one. Shopping at Khan Market is my favourite in this category. While the market has lost all its former character and is as crowded, commercial and yuppie as any other, there is a breed (the wife included) which still believes in shopping there for toothpaste even though a store 200 metres away from home stocks it. And while Midlands book shop in Aurobindo Market is better stocked, one buys books from Bahrisons because it affords the privilege of standing behind Mark Tully at the cash counter. Somehow, shopping here seems to provide people with a sense of elitism. My opinion on this subject though is disdainfully attributed to my lack of exposure to a LBZ address and consequent ignorance of this venerable institution.

Having lived in Delhi for a while, one has come to reconcile to material snobbery. The kind which lends itself to flashing a gold Rolex,the ubiquitous Mont Blanc or as I recently discovered, loafers with loud, gold lettering that scream "LV". These folks are so much simpler to deal with given that they frequently confess to their indulgences being no more than a means of showing off. Intellectual pretensions though tend to run much deeper and most practitioners of the game tend to violently defend their passions as a means of deep-rooted gratification. Do write to me when you catch a theatre "enthusiast" confessing to watching plays for the sake of being seen there. Ditto for those who cant "live without Khan Market". That will be the day.

As for me, I belong to both categories of wannabes. Little wonder then that the wife considers me to be one of the toughest people in the world to put up with. But hey, at least I confess. I also confess to having watched one excellent play in the last two years. Slainte to that!

To Be or Not To Be

2008-07-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

In the wake of the Nuclear deal, the absurd political theatre that one is witnessing leads to a few interesting observations/conclusions both, about the conduct of the Indian polity and the metamorphosis of the “aam aadmi”.

1. Its about time we saw through the charade that is Manmohan Singh. If one were to objectively look beneath the impressive professional credentials, gentle demeanour and apparently apolitical conduct, one would instantly discover the canny manipulator devoid of any lasting principles. If Vajpayee introduced the “I-don’t-need-to-be-PM-but-I-will-do all-it-takes-to-stay-there” brand of politics in our country, Manmohan Singh has converted it into a sublime art form. From embarrassing Abdul Kalam with dubious President’s Rule recommendations in Bihar to aiding a petty legislation aimed at merely dethroning a doctor (coincidentally his personal cardiac consultant) to cozying up to anyone who promised him support in a trust vote for the nuclear deal, Manmohan Singh has displayed a near Machiavellian penchant for expediency. Unfortunately for him, the nuclear deal forced him to reveal his hand and he can no longer hide behind the garb of being a non-playing captain with little control over a team which has a rule-book of its own. Having said that, his exemplary handling of his public image should merit closer examination from global political leaders most of whom would do well to have an image like our PM that is completely de-linked from their actions. Even the opposition chooses to call him “weak” at best, a clear pointer that it is still considered politically unwise to publicly demean the face behind the “mukhota” (oops, wasn’t that a Congress favourite?)

2. Never before have Central or State Agencies been so unabashed in their subservience. Political re-alignments at the centre lead to overnight action from the CBI/Customs Authorities against opponents. This is also a departure from the past where at least an attempt to display adherence to procedure could be expected and actions at the behest of political masters would not be as obvious and immediate as one has seen in the last few weeks. Add to this the whimsical re-opening or dropping of cases by state agencies and the plot thickens. As an aside, for all their officer associations etc, the police cadre does not even attempt a feeble protest when their brethren get shifted on the basis of say, media coverage of a murder. It is justifiable for this to happen if there is organized crime prevailing for a considerable length of time but rampant transfers in the wake of unfavourable media reports on an odd crime investigation is a little inexplicable. In certain states, civil servants are moved on mere rumours of corruption since it helps protect a clean image for the political class in the run-up to the elections. For a bureaucracy that steadfastly closes ranks when it comes to protecting their ilk, this helplessness is intriguing. Judicial activism has also become a thing of the past and the judiciary seems more intent on flexing its muscles on matters of far less import like declaration of assets by judges and insulating brother judges from alleged dishonourable acts of the past.

3. This may raise the hackles of feminists but contrary to their behaviour in civil society where the fairer sex is generally more mature, tolerant and sensitive, women leaders seem incapable of handling power sensibly and consistently overplay their hand and effortlessly convert opportunity into adversity. Mayawati, just a few months ago had both, a strong electoral result and favourable initial overtures from the centre going for her. Contrast it with the potential mess she has landed herself in with strengthened political alignments in her state, CBI back to baying for her blood et al. This, after having had the carpet pulled from under her feet by the BJP whilst trying to pull off a similar feat in the days of power-sharing by rotation. In the not so recent past, Jayalalitha had landed herself in a similar situation largely by demanding more than her rightful pound of flesh in her parleys with George Fernandes and Mulayam Singh only to end up with egg on her face. It is not only in the face of victory that one has seen displays of avoidable rash behaviour. Uma Bharti did her cause no good by initially playing hardball and then throwing a messy tantrum when things did not go her way. From being an important player in the saffron scheme of things, she has only seen herself getting increasingly marginalized and has to now eat humble pie in order to engineer a comeback from the wilderness. Is it a deep rooted need to prove that they are not the weaker sex in the big bad world of politics that one sees such frequent displays of mindless aggression and bad timing? I do not have an answer yet but perhaps this will form the subject of a research thesis by another observer of politics (or maybe psychology).

4. What is interesting though is that the only people who seem overtly outraged by the lack of spine in the recent political re-alignments are a few TV journalists in perpetual search of sound bites. The rest of the country could not care less and has accepted this as par for the course. Most involved citizens are more concerned with discussing the pros and cons of the nuclear deal, impact of inflation or at best life of the current government. There is hardly any anguish at the volte face of the ruling class and one does not see anyone sympathise with the Left as they moan at the “betrayal”. Sympathy towards the Left, if any, seems to derive itself from their foolhardiness at staying married to a position once pregnant with it. Is this a growing indifference of the Indian middle class towards seemingly earth-shattering goings-on in their country? Or is it the coming of age of Indian citizenry who have objectively accepted the fact that politicians have a job to do and part of it entails doing all it takes to govern the country regardless of any moral considerations whatsoever?

Time (and the next elections) will tell.

Politically Incorrect

2008-06-02T11:37:00.001-07:00

Growing up in moffusil Orissa, I was constantly goaded by my folks to aspire for what was probably the most coveted profession in our parts of the world: The Civil Services. Sure enough, as time flew, there were successful "candidates" in the neighbourhood. Their joy at having discovered the Holy Grail was short-lived as a rabble-rousing, union leader of the town that we lived in ( the guy Ma warned you against)went on to occupy ministerial position and our very own blue-eyed boy had to grapple with the ignominy of taking instructions from him. The fear of being shunted to (even more) far flung, famine struck districts and its resultant complications (the wife's kitty parties et al) ensured our neighbourhood envy was sufficiently compliant.

Suitably disillusioned, one decided to plunge for the lucrative world of multi-national corporations with starry eyed dreams of climbing the corporate ladder, raking in the big fat bonuses and teeing off with the gliterrati over the weekends. The corporate world though was not remarkably enlightening and one had to quickly come to terms with the fact that the boss was keener on the price at which you sold his bosses' property than what your "goal-statement" specified and one dealt with "crackberries" who responded to emails on their PDAs at unearthly hours of the night or day depending on the sleeping habits of the CEO. My only consolation, when I checked the toilets of a hotel room the global head of my organisation was slated to occupy was the fact that I was accompanied on this supremely cerebral activity by somebody who was significantly higher up in the echelons.

Whilst grappling with shallow and often meaningless jargon like "mission statement", "strategic intent", "long-term vision" and the like, my thoughts wandered to the day-job of a politician and a comparison with the enviable Corner Office seemed like a no-contest. The challenges and perils of governance aside, if one were to dissect a minister's job like a MBA is (supposedly) trained to do, one arrives at some interesting comparisons.

One of the toughest challenges that corporate leaders face is the need to deal with several talented and ambitious people all of whom aspire to reach the top but the pyramid ensures only a few do while the rest are left licking their wounds. The leader is supposed to reward the truly meritorious and yet ensure the relative "have-nots" are kept suitably motivated after every round of promotions or job rotations. While a business leader has to deal with faceless individuals all of whom will go unrecognised at public places, compare it with the challenge that a political leader has to face post a ministerial reshuffle when he has to deal with bruised egos of public figures as their "moves" (or lack of them) make national headlines the next day and will determine whether they stand in serpentine queues at the airport or qualify not to be frisked.

How about job complexity? Without even getting into trying to compare the relative difficulty of managing a P&L and governing a country, lets get into a more basic facet. The single purpose for existence of a business is profit. The Government on the other hand has a far-reaching social responsibility apart from dealing with several legitimate yet conflicting points of interest. Hydel power generation v/s population displacement for instance. Add to this the myriad pulls and pressures of a system with various forces legally bestowed with powers to influence or obstruct a course of action and the challenge multiplies geometrically. For the record, most corporations claim to have a system of checks and balances too but the single point control of bonus cheque ensures absolute power.

Right from the time one aspired to join business school, one was made to believe that communication skills were the one trait sans which all hopes of making it big could be laid to rest. In north India, this was defined as a superior ability to roll ones "R"s while those south of vindhyas typically believed in peppering their power point presentations with abstract graphs and charts in a bid to appear suitably intellectual. Contrast the communication skills required for a board room presentation full of pretentious Zegna-clad employees with that of addressing half a million people at Ramlila Maidan or negotiating in a "heads-you-lose-tails-i-win" situation a la the topical Gujjar agitation in Rajasthan.

Despite the obvious no-contest on "skill-sets requirement" (pardon the corporate jargon please) it is alarming, and even a tad disappointing to see the absence of interest within the intellegentsia for a political career. The government could more than do with private sector discipline and the private sector would be greatly enriched by folks with understanding of grass-root dynamics and governance. Sadly this cross-pollination is absent in our society even though it defines the developed world where there are examples galore of people making the shift on both sides of the border.

For all the hype around youth and nex-gen, governance in our country continues to rot with the geriatric polity and an archaic, mafia-like bureaucracy which lends itself to sycophancy and self-preservation. Hopefully, some of us can and will make a difference.