Saturday, May 29, 2010

Mumbai Ahoy

I now have a legitimate Mumbai pin code as my address proof. Given how attached I am to the country's capital, most of my friends and family had greeted my announcement of relocation with much scepticism and disbelief. My first 2 weeks have been better than expected. One does not live in a place as cramped as one had braced for and there is enough greenery around one's nest to stay continously reminded of Delhi. "Reverse traffic" ensures a smooth ride to work and a tolerable ride back. However, the much touted "everyday professionalism" in Mumbai is pure fiction. Sample all that one has been subjected to in the first 2 weeks:

- The Meru cab failed to land up TWICE! The missus was instructed to ask for directions herself since it was she who was keen to reach the annointed destination. On another instance she was persuaded by a cab driver to cover the remaining leg of her journey in an auto-rickshaw since it was presumably beneath his dignity to be caught in traffic in the suburbs (or " 'burbs " as some pretentitious folks refer to it).

- Our maid never lands up on time. On day-1 she landed up an hour later than scheduled. Its now down to 15-20 minutes with a follow- up phone call every alternate day. Ditto for the painter, electrician, appliances delivery folks etc. (there is our efficent carpenter who is remarkably punctual but any praise directed at him draws sniggers around parochialism since he hails from a place called Behrampur in Orissa)

- An electrician tried to con me into paying installation charges (when I had a deal for free installation) and promptly retreated when I showed him the bill. The trophy though goes out to the guy from the Internet Service Provider who summoned me back home (when he had landed up 45 minutes before schedule) since it was his birthday and he was getting delayed! I obliged only to be kept waiting since he was busy receiving birthday wish calls from his numerous girlfriends. My patience ran out in 10 minutes and I showed him the door.

- Auto-rickshaw & cab drivers alike jump traffic signals with elan. I do not mention BEST buses because they do not even acknowledge the existence of signals so they are perhaps unaware they are jumping them.

None of this would shock any of us in any part of the country. And that's my point. When it comes to efficiency or work ethic, Mumbai is no different from any other part of the country. It could be periodic degeneration over time though scores of locals insist we are just having a run of poor luck and things are indeed much better. If that be the case, be prepared for a volte-face blog post sometime soon.

One stark change from the past is that most taxi drivers invariably claim to be from Maharashtra. More power to MNS!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Tweeter-less on Raisina Hill

Having read most of Shashi Tharoor's works (and numerous newspaper columns), I have always been impressed by the breadth of his interests, deep research and ability to communicate in a tone that was refreshingly unusual. (I confess my ignorance of his achievements in the United Nations).My admiration for him grew several notches when he chose to enter Parliament by slugging it out in the rough and tumble of electoral politics as opposed to the more conventional back-door routes employed by the privileged lot. I have been disappointed by him twice:

Let me get over and done with the less relevant one first. In one of his books- "Bookless in Baghdad", Tharoor has chosen to write a retort to a sharply critical review by Shobha De of one of his earlier publications, "Show Business". While I can't help concede that Show Business is an eminently forgettable tome, a writer of Tharoor's stature need not have stooped to level with a saucy, publicity-seeking mass manufacturer of lurid pulp fiction.

His recent Twitter posts with a stance against numerous government actions have left me disappointed. To voice private disagreements in a broader forum while one holds public office is distasteful and highly unbecoming of someone with Tharoor's perceived calibre. To walk and execute the house view is a basic expectation from anyone entrusted with any form of responsibility, not to mention a position of national (and perhaps international) import. Why would an acclaimed prodigy with numerous & wide ranging accomplishments under his belt seemingly lose the plot ?

Part of the answer probably lies in Tharoor's intellectual arrogance relative to the polity (for evidence of this trait one must read his scathing criticism of R K Narayan's "lack of command" over the Queen's language). He seems to have fallen prey to the mistaken belief that academic pedigree coupled with professional success equals superior intelligence. Mass leaders (who have exceptional compartments of cerebral excellence in their own right) typically lull the brown sahibs into this false sense of complacency.

Tharoor also seems to be gambling with periodic acts of professional indiscretion with an eye towards creating a crusader image for himself with the impressionable middle class. The calibrated nature of his "dissent" coupled with timely retreats when faced with rebuke from the sanctum sanctorum reeks of clinical brinkmanship. If Tharoor indeed believes he can pull this off to create a larger than life persona for himself in the Rahul Gandhi era, I would tend to conclude that megalomania has scalped yet another bright soul.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The Audacity of Eloquence

Barack Obama suddenly looks like a magician out of tricks what with good press having deserted him completely. Every section of the fourth estate seems to be handing him a mauling for perceived incompetence. From his cowboy handling of Afghanistan to his inept grappling with the sensitive issue of Islam or even his comical dash to bid for the Olympics, the media has abandoned its self created darling. What plumped for Obama is his charisma. Ironically, what is doing him in is just that. The “eloquence over experience” jab, once dismissed as a losers’ rant is now fast gaining acceptance amongst a wide cross section of opinion makers. Obama is not helping matters by indulging in a series of bloomers. He seems to alternate his leanings towards India or China depending on the side of the bed he rises from. The magic wand for the economy is yet to kick in. The cynical silence that greeted the announcement of his Nobel Prize threatened the credibility of the award itself. The first year of Presidency, one that leaves indelible and material impressions has seen Obama at sea more often than not.

Strangely, Obama was elected at a time when the economy was in a mess and the global business press (and corporate citizenry) making a cry for top bosses who were shorn of flashy trappings and could get on with the job with their heads down. Recent American business history is replete with examples of poster boys having to make way for boring, faceless leaders who could just stay the disciplined course. These CEOs were expected to navigate treacherous turbulence with a back-to-the basics mantra coupled with the right doses of “responsible” tokenism through voluntary paycuts and similar Gandhian acts. B-School gurus seem to have reached a consensus that regimented, restrained leaders are the best bet to weather a storm. The probability of their indulging in high-risk cavalier acts which could plummet organizations into a hopeless abyss is indeed low. With brighter weather round the corner, when significant course correction is the recommended order of the day is when the flesh pumping, awe-inspiring prima donnas merit their place in the sun.

One could therefore argue that the worst of the financial crisis was behind Obama when he occupied the hot seat. Hence, pizzazz over substance is what America needed too given that turnaround is what the doctor ordered (to put it mildly). Here is where the difference sets in. It has more to do with the process of selection than requirement or expectations from leadership. While several CEOs do have tailwinds in the form of ivy league degrees, loquacity and oodles of luck, it is rare for an individual to occupy the corner office without a track record of demonstrated success. (typically multiple times over). An open election system which does not call for any “qualifications” for the top job on the other hand, is bound to throw up leaders like Obama who get tossed upstairs on the strength of grandiloquent rhetoric. While he will probably land on his feet ultimately, the gestation is proving costly for America. The first couple of years are the only hope a nation has of steps in the right direction. The latter half of the tenure will be spent towards re-elction anyways. America deserved better than love and fresh air.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The "Chintan" Ahead

Television anchors suddenly had something more meaningful to debate than “sach ka saamna” as the Jaswant Singh saga unraveled itself in all its glory. Ever since the “chintan baithak” witnessed the dismissal of a former cabinet minister of significant import, most observers of the political theatre seem to herald this as the beginning of the end of the BJP.

For starters, there were a set of avoidable bloopers. Jaswant Singh was certainly tempting fate blatantly by scripting a tome on partition (and Jinnah). Having been an important backroom player in managing the repercussions for L K Advani post a seemingly innocuous remark, he is displaying misplaced naiveté with his apparent surprise at the fallout. That he was aware he would stir a hornet’s nest is a foregone conclusion. The party however could have pretended to play by the rules and allowed him to put up a defence which may have been summarily dismissed. The current move smacks of uncharacteristic haste and it could be a deliberate double whammy being played out by a legal eagle within the party. It helps him get rid of one heavyweight and significantly weaken the party president, the inevitable fall guy for the consequences of such a seemingly rash move.

Personally, I do not read too much into sound bites around the BJP’s “fascist behaviour” and “disrespect for freedom of speech”. Given the Sangh Parivar’s stated (and recently reiterated) position on M A Jinnah , the party just had to respond when pushed to the corner due to provocative literary pursuits by a senior, “responsible” leader. Politics is a lot about symbolism. Buta Singh not being given the boot despite glaring evidence of wrongdoing given possible impact on the SC/ST vote in the impending assembly elections is a case in point. Lets face it, the BJP had no choice. The only difference is that a Congress or BSP worker will not even dream of writing a book that remotely defies the party line. Jaswant Singh exploited the BJP’s relatively superior democratic ethos to a fault.

A lot is being written about a terminal decline of the BJP thanks to multiple layers of factionalism. The party does indeed run the risk of being buried permanently but here is where the party needs to look at the Congress for inspiration. A very large part of the anti-Congress political landscape of the country is dotted with ex-Congressmen. From a V P Singh to a Devi Lal to a Biju Patnaik, most opposition leaders were those who broke away from the Congress (the founder of the RSS, Keshav Hedgewar also began his political career with the India National Congress!). Each time, the Congress emerged stronger albeit around the backbone of a family name. It is time now for the BJP to bite the bullet and get into a no-holds barred succession battle, identify the first among equals and dust itself of the also-rans. Some could join the ranks of other opposition parties but it will also provide the party with a new- found opportunity to welcome a few political middleweights who find the party unacceptable in its current avatar.

For that to happen however, L K Advani and his shadow need to disappear from the horizon. He needs to finally accept the fact that his time has come and his cause is better served by dignified “sanyas”. Though, whether he wishes to be compared in the annals of history to Sardar Patel or Sitaram Kesri is a matter of personal choice. The former anyway seems to be fast appearing like a case of pure wishful thinking by the self-styled “lohpurush”.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Unspirited Musings

My keen interest in whisky is known to most of my friends and acquaintances. Not surprisingly therefore, I looked forward to a Scotland trip with much enthusiasm, a lot of which turned out to be misplaced. Make no mistake, Scotland is a very pretty country and Edinburgh is by far the most picturesque city that I have travelled to. The people are warm, full of fun and the eateries/taverns are extremely welcoming. This city seems to have it all. Rich cultural & academic heritage, landmark monuments coupled with bustling and trendy commercial enterprise sans any of the inconvenient trappings of big city living.

However, here is why the whisky lover in me came back disappointed:

- I must have visited nearly two dozen watering holes in the couple of evenings that I spent in Scotland . I had the privilege of witnessing only two gentlemen downing whisky across all of them! Afternoon sojourns to pubs in smaller towns yielded similar results. This, when whisky is fairly reasonably priced compared to beer or wine.

- The range of whiskies on offer would easily be put to shame by slightly upscale bars in any of the metros back home. To add insult to injury, most displays outside pubs only spoke of their beers & wines! So much for Scotland being whisky country!

- I visited "Royal Mile Whiskies", a store with much fan-following the world over, and scores of literature dedicated to it. It was manned by 4 people- 2 Americans, a Finnish gentleman and just one Scotsman (arguably the least knowledgable of the 4). I asked for 5 malts that were top of my shopping list. The store had NONE of them! I did get some good whiskies and the store does have a decent selection of spirits but it comes nowhere close to "The Whisky Exchange" in London and it does nothing to merit the hype it generates in the whisky fraternity the world over.

- I visited another whisky store but even worse was in store. When I asked for special whisky glasses that most single malt enthusiasts treasure, the manager instructed his store-keeper to fetch me some of "those funny-shaped glasses"! (I am convinced he has his whisky with soda)

It can be argued with some merit that Edinburgh is nowhere close to being whisky country and I was better off visiting specific islands steeped in rich whisky tradition. Sure enough it is on my to-do list for the future. But I have returned from Edinburgh with reasonable conviction that whisky drinking is on the wane and perhaps irrecoverably so. Alas, that does not warm my palate.

I owe a big Thank You to my friend Anurag Chatrath for keeping me company as we went pub crawling endlessly. This, despite he being a rather reluctant tippler.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Rahul Baba Chaalis Chor

The Congress spin doctors have tripped again. There was wide ranging feedback that Rahul Baba was being perceived as soft, a trifle daft and a little naive for the rough and tumble of Indian politics. Attempts to reach out to the masses were appearing way too incongruous for a chocolate faced youngster with characteristic Babalog demeanour. The solution was a hard-hitting press conference where Yuvraaj was to demonstrate his new found "political maturity". And what a mess!

The young AICC General Secretary sought to legitimise post-electoral promiscuity. As if driving home the absence of permanent political scruples was not bad enough, he naively sought to reach out to perceived fence sitting BJP allies by praising their governance in public! If coalition maneuveres could be achieved by appealing to egos thru press statements, an Amar Singh would have been unemployed long ago. In fact a young political scion with no administrative accomplishments under his belt sitting in judgement on stalwarts like Nitish and Chandrababu would have actually offended them. Even the left snubbed him publicly and the Baba's image managers must be licking their wounds while strategizing their next disaster.

My unsolicited advice to Rahul Baba would be to shed the apprehension of losing a few small battles to win the war. Contesting elections from the comfort of the family pocket burrough, shying away from ministerial responsibility for fear of a public expose' of incompetence and resorting to one-way press conferences as opposed to televised debates will keep you perpetually in boyhood. Currently even a lightweight like Ravi Shankar Prasad may perhaps knock you out in 23 seconds but it is important to stoop to conquer. Coming a cropper in televised debates will prepare you for more impactful and relevant debates in Parliament. Warm-up games don't matter. The Big Match does.

Your cronies may ill-advise you that the crown-prince does not level with his lowly subjects but history is replete with examples to the contrary. Should you fail to deliver as a minister, the lessons learnt will hold you in good stead for the eventual top job that your family party is bound to confer upon you whenever it has electoral tailwinds. The nation cannot afford to experience incompetence in the top job (again!) . Post independence, your grandmother has been the single most important political figure in the country. Her lack of concrete and commensurate contribution notwithstanding, she was strengthened by every defeat (political, legal or electoral). Sad to see you enveloped in escapism as opposed to grabbing opportunity with both hands. But then, some things never change. Primacy of THE Family and Power of the Coterie are 2 such permanent features of the Congress. Wish the same could be said of their alliance scruples.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Reader's Block

One of my occupational hazards is travel which comes with an inescapable wait at airports, lounges and the like. A positive fallout of this drudgery is an opportunity to catch up on reading (books). As I waited to catch an early evening flight last week, I was bemused to observe everybody poring into multi-hued newspapers with not a single soul attempting to read anything else. Morning flights are replete with identical sights. An added plethora of self-important professionals type away furiously on their laptops.

I failed to grasp the import of going over a newspaper in the evening having presumably done so in the morning too. (None of these newspapers have evening editions, at least not publicly known ones) Ditto for the laptop addicts. Were it not for a painful flight, their slumber would have ordinarily deprived employers of their new-found creativity in the wee hours of the morning anyway.

And yet, most people I meet lament the absence of available time to catch up on reading. Frequent travellers apart, even those who spend a couple of hours a day on Facebook, 6 hours a week catching up on movies (not counting travel time to Cinema) often complain about the inadequacy of a mere 24 hours in a day. P G Wodehouse is invariably something one "used to read" and favourite authors are typically those one read in college (or even school) . An honourable exception though is unfailingly made for decorated works (read "Booker Prize Winning") of Indian authors a la "The WhiteTiger". However mediocre some of these tomes may be, there is a potential risk of being perceived as an embarrassing illiterate in a gathering where everybody has "found time" to read this one magnum opus in 3 years. Hence, the authors laugh their way to the bank.

As a consequence, most of our social networks tend to largely revolve around current or former colleagues. In the absence of expanding or deepening interests, the opportunity to discuss mundane and often irrelevant happenings at workplace is a convenient fallback.
A second and more serious fallout is for the forthcoming generation. It is highly unlikely they shall seek enrichment through non-curriculum reading. Is it surprising a far higher number of parents tend to boast of their progeny's skill with gadgetry, sport (or even mimicry) as opposed to vocabulary?

Make no mistake I am not the world's best known bibliophile. I would not even qualify as a voracious reader. But my last sojourn in an airport lounge painfully exposed me to the demise of the "bookworm" (face it, you last heard this term in school!).