Reader's Block

One of my occupational hazards is travel which comes with an inescapable wait at airports, lounges and the like. A positive fallout of this drudgery is an opportunity to catch up on reading (books). As I waited to catch an early evening flight last week, I was bemused to observe everybody poring into multi-hued newspapers with not a single soul attempting to read anything else. Morning flights are replete with identical sights. An added plethora of self-important professionals type away furiously on their laptops.

I failed to grasp the import of going over a newspaper in the evening having presumably done so in the morning too. (None of these newspapers have evening editions, at least not publicly known ones) Ditto for the laptop addicts. Were it not for a painful flight, their slumber would have ordinarily deprived employers of their new-found creativity in the wee hours of the morning anyway.

And yet, most people I meet lament the absence of available time to catch up on reading. Frequent travellers apart, even those who spend a couple of hours a day on Facebook, 6 hours a week catching up on movies (not counting travel time to Cinema) often complain about the inadequacy of a mere 24 hours in a day. P G Wodehouse is invariably something one "used to read" and favourite authors are typically those one read in college (or even school) . An honourable exception though is unfailingly made for decorated works (read "Booker Prize Winning") of Indian authors a la "The WhiteTiger". However mediocre some of these tomes may be, there is a potential risk of being perceived as an embarrassing illiterate in a gathering where everybody has "found time" to read this one magnum opus in 3 years. Hence, the authors laugh their way to the bank.

As a consequence, most of our social networks tend to largely revolve around current or former colleagues. In the absence of expanding or deepening interests, the opportunity to discuss mundane and often irrelevant happenings at workplace is a convenient fallback.
A second and more serious fallout is for the forthcoming generation. It is highly unlikely they shall seek enrichment through non-curriculum reading. Is it surprising a far higher number of parents tend to boast of their progeny's skill with gadgetry, sport (or even mimicry) as opposed to vocabulary?

Make no mistake I am not the world's best known bibliophile. I would not even qualify as a voracious reader. But my last sojourn in an airport lounge painfully exposed me to the demise of the "bookworm" (face it, you last heard this term in school!).

Devil and The Deep Sea

I am the lone Orissa connection for many of my friends. I am often asked if Naveen Patnaik will win a third term as CM. In my opinion, under two months from now he will. Here is why:

- Congress, the primary opposition party pulls out a semi-retired politician bereft of regional stature from the closet and appoints him as the head of the provincial arm.

- He is assigned 3 lieutenants, all of whom belong to differing local factions to “assist” in the decision making process of ticket allotment.

- The lieutenants expectedly engage in pulling each other in opposite directions only to realize its a futile squabble anyway since the writ of the family head shall reign supreme and any self -styled satrap is at best a courier.

- Consequently, with 45 days to go for polls, each ticket aspirant camps in delhi with hangers-on, mentors, moneybags et al with scant attention for the constituency where the battle ought to have been fought.

- A list of candidates is finally published. As it turns out, this was only to facilitate more trips to the sanctum sanctorium with fresh godfathers to plead one’s case. The original list is revised.

- Now, the party has to go to the polls with 4 categories of “congressmen” in the fray- (1) official candidate (2) official candidate (former), (3) lead dissident (made it to neither list despite best attempts) and (4) fence crosser. (denied ticket by BJD and granted refuge).

With an opposition party in such shape, one does not really need a “chanakya” to strategize for the CM (Patnaik has an over-rated one). The circus around the current General Elections have reinforced my belief in the two-party system. However, Orissa desperately needs a Third Front to prevent further damage to the state. The consequences of having a non-existent opposition are as follows:

- A 11-year old alliance partner is dumped in the face of an opportunistic possibility of a solo government. A big bully arrangement is put forward with the sole objective of humiliating the alliance partner into separation.

- Any pretensions of political scruples are thrown to the winds and last-minute rebel congressmen are not just welcomed but also rewarded with prestigious constituencies.

- A third term by the same government shall ensure there is no political will (or ability) to confront the Maoist menace. Senior law-makers privately concede numerous districts are not in state control. We shall soon grapple with an insurgency situation akin to the North-East.

- The state shall continue to languish at the bottom of the per-capita income charts. I mention this AFTER Law & Order because rule of law is something we have lost only in the last decade and might do so irrecoverably but for rapid damage control. The current state government’s definition of “governance” is restricted to suspending civil servants and cops for alleged misdemeanour.

- Lastly, it pains me to see dictatorial dynasty rule in one’s home state. While it might be argued that every regional party comprises one master surrounded by mass subservience, most states run by regional parties have strong opposing forces who act as a counter weight. In the absence of such a phenomenon in Orissa, complete anarchy prevails.

In my view, the BJD shall form the next government in Orissa and shall also be part of ANY central government formation. Alas, one is not spoilt for choice. I seriously hope we soon have a young leader with mass appeal who shall take up the cudgels of building the state before it degenerates to a point of no return.

Leagues Apart

The elections have claimed an unlikely victim in the shape of IPL.

The setting had all the makings of a potboiler. A wealthy industrialist with strong links to a BJP CM stumbles upon cricket administration (there is indirect spice around the CM links too which the media chooses not to report). The CM is overthrown and her lackeys face the heat from all sides. Bureaucrats, whose fate the larger-than-life cricket administrator once presided over, humiliate him on home turf in the local cricke body elections. The ruling party turns the knife by ensuring “its” state governments throw up their hands in despair citing security concerns. The proverbial last straw comes when the BCCI President, a hitherto ally of the ruling party switches camps before the elections.

So whichever way you look at it, the IPL and the General Elections were badly entangled well before the controversy around security began.

- Could the outcome have been any different if Sharad Pawar was part of a Congress-led alliance ?

- Who is guilty of being more pig-headed? The IPL for being inflexible about dates or the Govt about security arrangements?

- Is it really so much of a shame if the Government of the world’s largest democracy wishes to deploy all available security resources for the elections?

- Before Wimbledon 2009 begins, preparations for the 2010 tourney are already underway. Do we believe the organizers would shift to Roland Garros if there were serial blasts in London a week before Wimbledon or would they scrap the year's tournament altogether? The IPL may not be a century-old tradition but shifting to South Africa has ensured nothing around it will ever be considered sacrosanct.

- If the IPL had to be played for the benefit of TV audiences, could we not have arrived at a compromise solution where all matches were played in a single (Indian) City??

- Was the threat to shift to SA a mere mind-game which flopped when Chidambaram refused to take the bait?

For once, I do not have a strong opinion but numerous unanswered questions and mild views around some of them. However, the “Indian” Premier League beamed live from South Africa certainly is one big farce. But then, if Manmohan Singh could be a Rajya Sabha MP from Assam, I guess IPL has extended the same logic albeit in a slightly warped manner. Security concerns are being positioned as a political stance because those killed in the attack on the Lankan cricketers were faceless policemen. If a single international cricketer had been killed, the fraternity would have been numbed into a far more balanced response.

The Mahatma of Good Times

There is much hullabaloo over Gandhi’s possessions being bought by a liquor baron thereby denigrating the core of Gandhian values. The chattering classes engage in yet another attempt at puritanical ideology over pragmatism. As with everything else, the blame has been squarely pointed at the doors of the government. I am not the greatest fan of Ambika Soni (or the UPA Govt) but assuming there was a (covert) Govt hand in the auction, what real choice did they have? The same folks would have been baying for its blood for letting such "valuable symbols of national prestige" stay in the hands of foreigners. There would have been various symbolic interpretations by journalists clamouring to make the maximum intellectual impact with perverse theories. Can any government afford it, least of all in an election year?

- Journalists are better off directing their energy at how items as personal as slippers found their way into the hands of materialistic collectors. In all likelihood, it is the (extended) family which brought shame to the legacy.

- If we wish to liberate the government of the day from such avoidable compulsions, maybe its time we stopped making such a big deal out of anything to do with Gandhi. If we were unaware of these suddenly valuable belongings residing overseas all these years, why raise such a storm now? I would also argue a lot of the principles Gandhi stood for is less meaningful today and often borders on being impractical. (Anyone residing in Gujarat would point to the futility of prohibition) In my own attempt at being intellectually perverse (a la numerous columnists) let me propound a theory that a liquor baron paying for Gandhi’s personal items publicly signals the end of the topical relevance of Gandhian values .

- If I were Ambika Soni though, I would have arranged for Nusli Wadia to bid for the items. What can make for better PR than Jinnah’s grandson getting the Mahatma’s spectacles back to India??? The publicists could have spun a whole new story around a new era in cross-border relations. Amar Singh too missed an opportunity for a trademark stunt. Munnabhai standing up for Gandhian pride would have set the Lucknow electorate on fire what with Gandhigiri being an official poll strategy for the convicted actor. But then again the media would have screamed itself hoarse at the grave injustice to the legacy with an Arms Act convict successfully bidding for goods that belonged to the ultimate purveyor of non violence.

Bharatiya Congress Party

Some months ago, I was chided by a journalist friend for my views on the Congress party being a family-run proprietorship with scant scope for healthy disagreement or independent opinion. As per him, my corporate upbringing should have helped me comprehend that “Gandhi” was a brand-name to fetch votes in much the same way as “Surf” is meant to garner revenues for Levers. It was suggested I was displaying naivet'e in trying to search for ideology in what was purely business. As all kinds of unholy alliances are being sewn in the run-up to the next elections, one important change is the voters ability to decipher that stated ideology is a mere electoral position and consequent indifference to peripheral issues when it comes to voting. With characteristic middle-class double standards, we will label Ajit Singh as a classic turncoat but shall have enormous respect for Chidambaram who has been finance minister for opposing regimes with no visible moral compunctions whatsoever. ( Incidentally Ajit Singh too is an IIT graduate with years in the U.S. computer industry to boot but his image managers lost the plot somewhere). Reality is that PC did not fare too badly under either regime thus reinforcing the belief that the 2 primary national parties which form the backbone of their respective alliances are cut from the same cloth after all.

Why then are the BJP and Congress not talking to each other about an alliance? For starters, both are “religious” parties- one survived with minority appeasement and the other grew thru majority appeal. (please note I refrained from use of contentious terms such as “secular”) They still lay claim to having the best political talent (albeit from a far from world-class pool). And save for a few purely electoral issues have an increasingly similar agenda on issues of national security & economic development , inarguably the most important items on hand in the immediate term.

Given constituency level realpolitik, such an alliance can be announced only after the polls but I believe there is a strong case in its favour for the following reasons:

1. The primary reason for the Congress "opposing" the BJP is that conventional wisdom prohibits #1 & #2 to tie-up. Ironically, it is the BJP's political relevance and not irreconcilable manifesto differences that makes it an opposition party (if they were a pidly 12-member party they would have been part of every government). Do the Left parties who have built their foundation opposing the Congress suddenly have more in common with them? Despite the overt LTTE connection, if the hatchet could be buried with DMK, is there a case for inflexible ideology anymore?

2. Given all-round economic uncertainty and the perilous internal security, we need a decisive government like never before. That can only happen if the ruling combination has 300-plus seats which is the raison d ‘etre for this combine anyway. It is imperative for certain firm policy decisions to be taken to their logical conclusion without an opposition that blocks any constructive activity for mere electoral visibility. Both the 2 large parties behave irresponsibly when pitted on opposite sides and hence it is best they play together. While this argument may appear undemocratic, too much of democracy does not seem to have helped anyone.

3. Executive and Judicial appointments will be made on greater grounds of merit which in turn will have a cascading effect on governance. Unlike today, it is less probable that the likes of either the outgoing CEC or his potential replacement will find their way into important constitutional posts on the strength of their overt political affiliations. There will still be some level of give-and-take but given automatic checks and balances, it is likely to be driven by considerations less petty than they currently are.

4. The country will be be spared the ignominy of being held to ransom by a set of petty power brokers (actually glorified p**** ) and their hangers on. With a narrow constituency to pander (and even narrower considerations to ride on) the presence of each one of these chieftains is regressive and this whole business of coalitions has been turned into a circus.


If I had the veto, my proposed arrangement would be:

The party with higher number of seats gets to nominate the Prime Minister and the electorally smaller party gets the Home or Finance portfolios. For sheer adeptness at political adhesiveness, my vote would have gone to Pranab Mukherjee for PM but my right-wing bias obstructs this vote.

Contentious issues such as Ayodhya, Article 370 etc should be kept in abeyance for the full 5-year term. Most of them are electoral issues that are not too relevant for governance anyway.


My choice of team would be- Manmohan Singh (Finance), Arun Jaitley (Home), Narendra Modi (Defence) , Kamal Nath (Commerce), Rahul Gandhi (External Affairs), Kapil Sibal (Law), Arun Shourie (Industry) and Pranab Mukherjee (Parliamentary Affairs). Alternative suggestions are welcome. (the conideration set has excluded people from non-Congress/BJP parties).


Who would be the leader of opposition then?? Speaker?? The prospects are interestingly endless. Of course, the treacherous issue around family hegemony remains.

Weighty Matters

On the 21st of this month, I am invited home for a do by somebody I meet 4 times a week but is a stranger of sorts. We speak each time we meet but know little about each other but for our names. As I pondered over this invite by a gym-mate, my thoughts went down memory lane on the myriad experiences in health clubs over the years.

I first stepped into a gym (actually an improvised "akhada") when I was 17- just into college, embarrassingly thin and painfully conscious of it. Situated in moffusil surroundings the club was frequented by neighbourhood toughies and serious bodybuilders. Given that I was from "out-of town" and bereft of local godfathers, this place was a messiah of sorts. Located right next to my college, my "buddies" (thanks to an inexplicable sense of fraternity most small-town gyms have) ensured I stayed out of trouble whenever anyone acted smart with me (or vice-versa). I may not have made any real friends here but I still have a deep sense of association with everyone I worked out with here thanks to a prevalent mindset of treating gym-mates as team members. As an aside, my physique remained unchanged after 3 years of serious pumping.

At B-school, the world was divided into two- those who lifted weights and nerds. That I belonged to the former category did not show! Bonding took a whole new meaning here and the "gang" would work out together and then hang out in the evenings as the studious biblophiles furthered their pursuit of academic glory. Contrary to popular perception though, few muscled men scored with the opposite sex. This however was cynically blamed on a B-school lady's obssessive (and new-found) desire to be seen as a thinking man's sex symbol (or in some cases an opportunistic alliance to secure grades!). Ironically, while most iron pumping blokes sought favour with the intellegentsia for notes, projects etc all year, there was an amusing role reversal in the months before job placements. Fitness experts used to be in sudden demand as there was an emergent belief that 2 years of rote would count for nothing in the face of a bulging waistline and smartly turned out duffers might steal the thunder. Attempts typically lasted for 7 1/2 days till futility dawned on both sides. End result- my physique still remained unchanged but I must say more folks from this gang are likely to attend my funeral than any other sub-group I have been part of. I made friends for life.

Work took me to another small town in Gujarat, a state not particularly known for its passion for fitness (even among the millions who migrate to the U.S.) I had hoped to trade fitness tips for stock market advice but I soon discovered gyms in Gujarat were frequented by only 2 kinds of people- the terribly lonely and outsiders. The former ensured I had convenient supply of beer in the dry state but I had to occasionally pretend to be interested in local gossip during sessions (which invariably revolved excessively around promiscuity). I (finally) managed to develop some muscle tone though I fervently hoped I would get to visit a new gym soon.

For the next several years, I stayed off a fitness regimen. It can be greatly blamed on my years in South India where I felt like Schwarzenegger in most night clubs anyway and hence remained deprived of any motivation to lift weights. My strength levels dipped considerably though I started getting bigger. A much awaited shift to Delhi ensured one was back where one loved to be only to realize one had been caught in a time warp as far as gym-buddies went.

Gone are the days of doing the bench-press together in alternate sets as is the post workout drink. (even though the bar is a flight of stairs away). Locker rooms provide for enormous amounts of conversation but they revolve around politics, cinema, food and sometimes vacations. Anything that is generic and impersonal goes. A few well-known personalities who hit the treadmill suffer a bit more. They are relegated to worse levels of loneliness as nobody wishes to be seen as a wannabe "sucking up" to them. Sometimes I see a set of people disappear to the bar together but it is invariably a bureaucrat-businessman combination . More on that another day.

While I can't say I have been complaining about the state of affairs in my current gym, the "boy" in me is looking forward excitedly to this forthcoming do. Looking forward to drinking with people one works out with as one has done for over a decade now and hoping to add to the list of people one can eventually count as "friends". Guess this is a queer and slightly unique sense of bonding and only those who have experienced it can empathize with it. I am tempted to suggest this is a "male-only" phenomenon but then do I run the risk of raising feminist hackles ? Or maybe I am downright off the mark on that count.

Slumming It

“Slumdog Millionaire” seems to have brought our misplaced sense of patriotism and needless schizophrenia to the fore. The movie apparently shows India “in poor light” and has divided the cocktail circuit and bollywood camps alike. The outrage seems to derive itself from the fact that the movie was directed by a foreigner. So a Mira Nair describing Mumbai poverty, albeit in a slightly varied form is acceptable but it is sacrilege for a foreigner to do likewise. Concurrently, there is pride in A R Rahman’s nominations i.e. we are proud of the Indian music composer but some of us are angry at a “phoren” director.

The Big B is normally measured in his response to anything and weighs political correctness in all public postures to a point of appearing devious. He too has thrown in his weight behind the objecting masses and seems to believe that depiction of Indian slums points to a conspiracy by the western world to paint a shabby picture of our country. Whether it reflects on his genuine concern as an honourable ambassador of our country or veiled envy at losing out on the grand scheme of things in a platform which matters is debatable.

Using the Big B as a reference point, I am tempted to ask if say, Sarkar Raj showed our country or Mumbai in glorious light. How does telling the world that we have a Mumbai that is lawless and obeys the writ of a parallel power-centre flattering for the image of the nation? Or is the argument that this is fictitious and hence passes muster but the existence of slums is real (and tragic) and hence out of bounds? Or is it about wanting to say that we can talk about our dirty underbelly but non-citizens can’t? To demand that foreigners are entitled to make films only about the cellphone revolution, the golden quadrilateral or our once-flourishing software/BPO industry seems preposterous. Films are a form of entertainment, a medium for people to express their creativity with the option of delivering a broader social message. The proportion of each of these elements is an individual decision and should be left at that.

I hail from the eastern province of Orissa. I have been living away from my home state for over a decade and am fairly used to meeting people who either struggle to place it on the map (especially in Mumbai) or mention the once famine-struck district of Kalahandi as their only source of familiarity with the state (despite my 6”2”, 90 kg frame!). Several of my compatriots are outraged at people’s ignorance about Orissa’s existence or its glorious maritime past, magnificent tourism opportunities and treasure of minerals. My reaction is typically one of amusement and silent determination. Amusement at people’s blinkers when it comes to world view and determination to contribute towards the state’s climb in the development pecking order in the years to come. To expect people to look up in admiration at a state that still dominates the bottom rungs of the per capita income charts is a bit far-fetched. (Despite my parochialism on the subject I need to concede Orissa is no Gujarat- yet)

I believe we are similarly placed as a nation on the global arena. We are a country on the upswing, but have a lot of ground to cover and will also do well to recognize the sharp, unparalleled disparity at both ends of the spectrum. A mere movie getting critical acclaim should neither affect our sensibilities nor distract from the mission of continuing the path of progress. “External” sources pointing to parts of our ugly underside should only make us vow to ourselves that we get rid of them.

Incidentally, on the subject of parochialism, Mira Nair grew up in Bhubaneshwar (Mumbaikars are forgiven for assuming Bhubaneshwar is a suburb north of Jogeshwari) :-)